When an old lady who had lived a decent and love-filled life
died, she had no worries about her final judgment. So while at the Pearly
Gates, waiting to be admitted into heaven, she heartily chatted with St. Peter.
Suddenly, there came the most awful and blood-curdling screams. St. Peter
smiled and calmly said, "Don't worry about that. It's only someone having
the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings."
Though the old lady looked a little uncomfortable, she
carried on with her conversation with St. Peter. Fifteen minutes later, there came
more blood curdling screams. Involuntarily, the old lady also screamed and
asked, “Oh my God! What is happening now?" St. Peter assuredly said, "Don’t
you worry. She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo."
"That does it. I can't do this. I would rather go to
hell," said the old lady. Finally, St. Peter then warned, "You can't
go there. You'll be raped and sodomized." And smiling knowingly, the old
lady said, "Maybe so, but I've already got the holes for that."
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