The Old Goat For Dinner

When a young couple invited their parish priest for Sunday dinner, and while they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the priest asked their son, “Son, what are we going to have for dinner?” The little boy replied, “Goat.” When the priest asked, “Goat, are you sure about that?” The little boy responded, “Yes, I heard Dad say to Mom, we might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day."

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My Wish For You

Today and always, I wish for you;
A heart free of sadness!
A mind free of worry!
A life full of gladness!
A body free of illness!
A spirit full of blessings!
A day filled with love!

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Some Random Facts_41

1. All Bran is only 87% bran.

2. An IKEA in the Netherlands had to cancel their 1 euro breakfast special because it attracted too many customers and caused traffic jams on the highway.

3. General Electric is the only company remaining from the original Dow Jones index of 1896.

4. As global temperatures rise, flowers are emitting less scent.

5. After just under a year in space, astronaut Scott Kelly's gene expression changed significantly and it's different to his identical twin brother's DNA.

6. One of the late Stephen Hawking's widely-accepted theories is that black holes aren't black.

7. Amazon's largest warehouse is the size of 17 American football fields.

8. 770,000 people living in England cannot speak English well.

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On Happiness

Happiness is a choice, not a result.
Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy.
And no person will make you happy unless you decide to be happy.
Your happiness will not come to you.
Your happiness can only come from you.
And until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.

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On Anger

While anger is popularly described as an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong, it can also be a good thing; as it can give you a way to express negative feelings, and motivate you to find solutions to problems. However, excessive anger can cause problems like increased blood pressure and other physical changes that make it difficult to think straight, and will harm your physical and mental health. Anger can also be likened to an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored, than to anything on which it is poured. For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind. Therefore, it is wiser to direct your anger towards problems, not people; to focus your energies on answers, not excuses. Anger is one letter short of danger. Whatever is begun in anger usually ends in shame. And one of the best remedies for anger is delay.

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Jesus Is Watching You

When a burglar broke into a home and was looking around, he heard a soft voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Thinking it was just his imagination, he continued his search. Again the voice said "Jesus is watching you!" And when he turned his flashlight around and saw a parrot in a cage, he asked the parrot if he was the one talking and the parrot said, "Yes." He asked the parrot, “What is your name?” was and the parrot said, "Moses."

The burglar then asked, "What kind of people would name a parrot, Moses?" And the parrot replied, “The same kind of people who would name their German Shepherd, Jesus."

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Some Random Facts_40

1. 37% of Brits believe their jobs are meaningless and do not contribute to the world.

2. A report found that the free weights at the gym have 362 times more bacteria than a toilet seat.

3. When you first meet people it is common to forget their names; a phenomenon called the ‘next-in-line' effect. This is because people are too worried about themselves, and what they'll say next, to focus on remembering the names of people they're introduced to.

4. Until 1948, 7-Up contained "lithium citrate," a mood stabilizer used to treat bipolar disorder.

5. Actor Frankie Muniz suffers from long term memory loss and doesn't remember being on Malcolm in the Middle.

6. Pirates probably didn't wear eye patches because of a missing eye; it's much more likely that they were keeping one eye ready to see in darkness, so that they could adjust quickly when going below deck.

7. In the late Middle Ages, books were so valuable that libraries would chain them to the bookcase. This was widely practiced until the 18th century.

8. The first woman to cycle round the world learnt to ride a bike a few days before she set off.

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On Your Happiness

Never allow any relationship to leave a scar in your life. If you are being hurt or sense that you are going to be hurt; and you are being honest, pull out fast and move on. Otherwise you'll never forget it; and you will be scared for life. And always remember that the Creator/s, never created unhappiness. Why would you allow anyone, to mess up their perfect creation?

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Effective Use Of Time

Philosophers have explained space, but they have not explained time. Because time, is the inexplicable raw material for everything. With it, all is possible; without it, nothing is. The supply of time is truly a daily miracle, an affair genuinely astonishing when one examines it. You wake up in the morning, and lo, your purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the unmanufactured tissue of the universe of your life! It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. A highly singular commodity, showered upon you in a manner as singular as the commodity itself! No one can take it from you. It can’t be stolen. And no one receives either more or less than you receive.

Talk about an ideal democracy! In the realm of time there is no aristocracy of wealth, and no aristocracy of intellect. Genius is never rewarded by even an extra hour a day. And there is no punishment. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and the supply will never be withheld from you. No mysterious power will say, "This man is a fool, if not a knave. He does not deserve time; he shall be cut off at the meter." It is more certain than consoles, and payment of income is not affected by Sundays. Moreover, you cannot draw on the future. Impossible to get into debt! You can only waste the passing moment. You cannot waste tomorrow; it is kept for you. You cannot waste the next hour; it is kept for you.

You have to live on this, twenty-four hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your immortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of the highest urgency and of the most thrilling actuality. All depends on that. Your happiness, the elusive prize that you are all clutching for my friends, depends on that. May we be granted the grace to use our time effectively, to generate the happiness we need!

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My Morning Devotion In Bed

Dear Father and Mother God,

So far today, I've done all right.
I have neither gossiped nor lost my temper.
I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty or self-centred.
I'm really happy about that so far.

But in a few minutes I'm going to be getting out of bed and then, I'm going to need a lot of help.
Your help!
Thank you, Father and Mother God.
Amen.

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Some Random Facts_39

1. Sweden has a ski-through McDonald's

2. Studies have suggested that losses are, psychologically, twice as powerful as gains. So, winning $100 feels as good to us as losing $50 feels bad.

3. 80% of mass shooters showed no interest in violent video games, a researcher found.

4. Ben & Jerry learned how to make ice cream by taking a $5 correspondence course offered by Penn State, because one of them couldn't get into medical school and the other couldn't sell enough pottery.

5. Research has shown that dogs actually like the silly, high-pitched voice their owners use to talk to them.

6. Dostoevsky wrote The Gambler to pay off his gambling debts.

7. During the Cold War, President Ronald Reagan and Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev agreed to set aside their differences if the world was ever invaded by aliens.

8. The film Jaws is based on a Peter Benchley novel. When he couldn't think of a title, his father suggested 'What's That Noshin' On Ma Leg'.

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A Lesson From The Ants

As tiny and annoying as they are, they are creatures who are wise and we will do well to learn a few lessons from their power of organization and discipline; and they take organization to a greater level. The workers, queen, and males all have their job specifications and they achieve a lot through division of labour. There is a structure in place and hence, organization becomes easy to achieve. However, it takes discipline to keep to the status quo. So set your plans and stick to them diligently without giving excuse a chance.

Helen Keller said, “Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.” The ants have a unique kind of unselfishness that is just breath-taking. Drop a cube of sugar and watch it closely. When an ant sights the food, it passes the message across, not thinking of its selfish interests but the interest of the colony and one suddenly becomes three; with the number increasing. There is indeed strength in unity. Also learn the power of soldiering on, in the presence of difficulties. Ants are determined and will move around any obstacle in their path to get to where they want to go. The kind of rare determination that is difficult to find. We can learn a thing or two from the ants, while we doggedly pursue our goals without giving up at a sign of difficulty.

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Some Random Quotes_9

1. Life is just like a sea, we are moving without an end. Nothing stays with us, except the memories of those who touched us as Waves.

2. Whenever you want to know how rich you are, never count your currency; just try to drop a tear and count how many hands reach out to wipe it. That is true richness!

3. A man can stand a lot, as long as he can stand himself.

4. The greatest way to live with honour in this world is to be what we pretend to be.

5. It is yourself that must constantly be transforming.

6. You cannot bring your same stale self to the world, and expect the world to be new for you.

7. When Snake is alive, Snake eats Ants. When Snake is dead, Ants eat Snake. Time can turn at any time. Don't neglect anyone in your life.

8. A good way to change someone's attitude is to change your own. Because, the same sun that melts butter, also hardens clay! Life is as we think, so think beautifully.

9. Never change your originality for the sake of others, because no one can play your role better than you. So be yourself, because whatever you are, you are the best.

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A Weekend Thought

When a baby mosquito came back after his first time flying and his mother asked, "How do you feel?" He replied, "It was wonderful! Everyone was clapping for me!!" Now, that's a Positive Attitude!

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The Way To Go

A human being is just a part of the whole we call the universe, a part only limited by time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as something separated from the rest; a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion becomes a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to enhance all living creatures and the whole of nature, in its beauty.

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Why Some Prefer A Beer To A Woman

1. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.

2. When you go to a bar you can always pick-up a beer.

3. A beer won’t get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.

4. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer.

5. If you pour a beer right you will always get a good head.

6. Hangovers go away.

7. When you’re finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.

8. You don’t have to wash a beer before it taste good.

9. A beer always goes down easy.

10. You can share a beer with your friends.

11. Beer is always wet.

12. You always know you’re the first one to pop a beer.

13. A frigid beer is a beer.

14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.

15. You can enjoy a beer all month long.

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A Full And Busy Life

An American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. And when the American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The Mexican replied, “I have caught enough to support my family's immediate needs.” The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, and eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman then asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years." And the Mexican asked, "But what then, senor?"

The American laughed, and replied, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!" And the Mexican again asked, "Millions, senor? And then, what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

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Some Random Facts_38

1. A study found that orcas can learn to speak dolphin.

2. A study found that a man named Robin Gunningham is probably the street artist Banksy, based on geographic profiling of Banksy's artwork.

3. Francisci Macías Nguema, first President of Equatorial Guinea, once had about 150 of his opponents executed on Christmas Eve by Soldiers dressed in Santa Claus outfits at the football stadium in Malabo.

4. Jimmy Carter said that, if he became president, he would release all government UFO information to the public. Once elected, however, he decided not to due to "national security concerns."

5. Hundreds of people gathered in Australia in 2018 to say “wow”, in the actor Owen Wilson's style.

6. While filming the movie "Entebbe," about a plane being hijacked, a plane was actually hijacked and landed at the airport. They filmed the real hostages being released and edited it into the movie.

7. Richard Nixon was an accomplished musician who could play the piano, accordion, violin, saxophone, and clarinet.

8. The Moon gets hit by over 6,000 pounds (2800 kg) of meteor material per day.

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The Penguin Treat

When a man was driving on the highway and saw a truck stalled on the side that had ten penguins standing next to it, he pulled over and asked the truck driver, “Do you needed any help?” And the truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins.

He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."

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Some Random Jokes_1

1. You have two choices in life; you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

2. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" And the other woman responded, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

3. A lady inserted an advert in the classifieds, "Husband Wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing, "You can have mine!"

4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

5. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.

6. When a little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" His father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

7. A young son asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" The father replied, "That happens in every country, son."

8. And there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."

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An Uncanny Stress Reliever

One day when a psychiatric doctor asked a patient, "What do you do when you are stressed? The patient replied, "I go to the mosque." The was pleased and said, "Good!" But when the doctor asked, "And do meditation? The patient responded, "No, I mix up all the shoes at the entrance and watch the chaos from a distance as they come out!"

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The Monkey’s Experience

A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey, and ordered a drink. And while he was drinking, his monkey was running wild. He jumped up on the pool table, grabbed the cue ball, put it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender was livid and said to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" And the guy said, "No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" So the bartender told him, "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole." And the guy said, "Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts." The guy finished his drink and left.

Two weeks later, the guy came back with the monkey, ordered a drink and the monkey started running wild around the bar again. While the guy was drinking his drink, the monkey found some peanuts on the bar, grabbed one, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the bartender disgustingly asked. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" And the guy asked, "What now?" The bartender responded, "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" And the guy knowingly said, "Well, what do you expect? Ever since he ate that darn cue ball, he measures everything first!"

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