A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey, and ordered a drink. And while he was drinking, his monkey was running wild. He jumped up on the pool table, grabbed the cue ball, put it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender was livid and said to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" And the guy said, "No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" So the bartender told him, "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole." And the guy said, "Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts." The guy finished his drink and left.
Two weeks later, the guy came back with the monkey, ordered a drink and the monkey started running wild around the bar again. While the guy was drinking his drink, the monkey found some peanuts on the bar, grabbed one, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the bartender disgustingly asked. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" And the guy asked, "What now?" The bartender responded, "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" And the guy knowingly said, "Well, what do you expect? Ever since he ate that darn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
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