Some Facts About California

1.       1 out of every 8 Americans is from California.

2.       California's official state animal is extinct.

3.       The five worst cities in the U.S. for air pollution are all in California.

4.       California produces 80% of the world's almonds.

5.       California has more than 130,000 people in prison.

6.       LSD was legal in California until 1966.

7.       A light bulb that hasn't been turned off since 1901 still shines at a fire station in California.

8.       California was the first U.S. state that banned Marijuana a century ago.

9.       In January 2014, a woman was beaten to death in California over an accidental photo-bomb.

10.   There's a microwaveable Burrito Vending Machine at a gas station in Hollywood, California.

11.   Antarctica was once as warm as modern-day California.

12.   Air pollution in China increases snowfall in California.

13.   California has built 23 prisons since 1980. In the same period, the University of California system has opened just one new campus.

14.   In 1818, the argentine pirate Hippolyte Bouchard attacked Monterey, California. After an hour of combat, Argentina's flag flew over it.

15.   There's a town named "Cool" and another called "Squabbletown" in California.

16.   In California and 3 other U.S. states, "Ladies' Night" are against the law because they are gender discrimination.

17.   California is the world's 5th largest supplier of food.

18.   There's a coast-to-coast hiking trail that stretches from Delaware to California.

19.   City of Industry, California, has a population of 219 but is home to 80,000 jobs.

20.   California holds 12% of the U.S. population and produces 6.9% of the country's total greenhouse gas emissions. Texas has 8.5% of the population and produces 12.8%.

21.   Southern California has about 10,000 earthquakes each year, though most are so small that they are never felt.

22.   Latinos now outnumber whites in California since 2015.

UPDATES FROM TANZANIA POST ELECTION ACTIVITIES

Last weekend they were opening parliament and there was a state dinner planned for all guests that was going to cost about 300m. President Magulufi cut the budget to 25m and ordered that the rest be taken to buy hospital beds for Muhimbili they got 300 beds and mattresses and 600 bed sheets from that money.

On 23rd Nov 2015 he announced that there will be no official ceremonies for Independence Day on 9th December, the money is to be used for more pressing issues and the day should instead be spent cleaning up our environment.

On Saturday 21st Nov 2015 a group of 50 people were about to set off for a tour of commonwealth countries (don’t know for what) but President Magulufi cut that list down to 4 people, saving government 600m in tickets, accommodation and per diems

No more foreign travel, embassies will take care; if it’s necessary to go, special permission must be sought from him or Chief Secretary

No more 1st class and business class travel for all officials except President, Vice, and Prime Minister.

No more workshops and seminars in expensive hotels when there are so many ministry board rooms available.

President Magulufi asked how come engineers are given V8s when a pick-up is more suitable for their jobs.

No more sitting allowances, how the hell are you paid allowance for a job which you have a monthly salary; that also applies to MPs.

President Magulufi has literally pressed the reset button; returning Tanzania to default factory settings, because that was the TZ Nyerere left us with.

On the day after he was brought to power, in the morning as State House officials were showing him round he decided to take a walk to ministry of finance, told them to get their act together, asked why some employees weren’t in office (ever since then the traffic jam in mornings has become worse) and ordered TRA to scrap all tax exemptions, everyone must pay taxes especially the big guys

President Magulufi went to Muhimbili Hospital unannounced and walked thru the worst parts that they keep hiding from important visitors he fired the director, fired the hospital board and ordered that all machines that weren’t working (so that people go to private hospitals owned by some doctors) to be repaired within 2 weeks otherwise he fires even the new director; the machines were repaired in 3 days

Finally, last week when going to officially open parliament President Magulufi didn’t go by plane, drove the whole 600km from Dar to Dodoma.

President Magulufi has reduced the size of the presidential convoy, even reduced the size of presidential delegation that travels with him

President Magulufi chose a Prime Minister we haven’t heard of before, a guy with reputation for hard work and no corruption all the big guys we expected could be PM have been let wondering what hit them.

His motto is: Hapa Kazi Tu

After President Magulufi visited Ministry of finance and Muhimbii Hospital without announcing it is said the port (most corrupt, delaying, thieving officials) were all of a sudden the most efficient place. No loads are missing, things are done quickly and that habit of forcing for a bribe so that your container is released is no more.

Oh, they say when he was confirmed as winner people started congratulating him and wanting to bring gifts to his place he turned them back, saying he will receive all congrats over the phone, nobody should visit him.

All individuals/firms that bought state companies that were privatized but haven’t done anything (20yrs later) are to either revive the industries immediately or hand them back to the government

………………………

TIME TO LEARN FROM THE BEST.

VOTE WISELY.

Some Prayer

One day, a married man knelt down, looked longingly to the heavens and prayed, “Dear Papa God, You gave me childhood, You took it away. You gave me youth, You took it away. Then You gave me a wife. And it has been years now. I am just reminding You.”

Some Facts You Didn't Know About CHRISTMAS

1.       Christmas was illegal in the U.S. until 1836 as it was considered an Ancient Pagan Holiday.

2.       Every Christmas, one million letters are addressed to Santa Claus at his own postal code: "H0H 0H0, North Pole, Canada."

3.       The weeks before Christmas is the most popular time for couples to break up, according to data analyzed from Facebook.

4.       During the Christmas season, almost 28 LEGO sets are sold every second.

5.       Norwegians pay half tax in November so everyone has more money for Christmas.

6.       In Catalonia (Spain), a smiley-faced piece of wood called "Shitting Log" poops out the presents in Christmas.

7.       Christmas ham, originally a pagan tradition, was endorsed by the Catholic Church as a test of truthful conversion from Judaism.

8.       In some European countries, children are given gifts on December 6 rather than in Christmas Day.

9.       About 200 Christmas trees catch fire every year in the U.S.

10.   In Japan, KFC is a typical feast of Christmas Eve.

11.   New Zealand bans all advertising on TV on Christmas, Easter, Good Friday and ANZAC Day.

The Insatiability Factor

During one of their after dinner banters, the wife quizzically asked, “Honey, why are men never ever satisfied with their Mobiles, Automobiles, TV and Wives?”

And the husband replied, “Because, there is always a better model in the neighborhood.”

Writing A Will

When a man heard from his doctor that his end was near, he headed straight to a lawyer to write a will.  The secretary watched as the man walked into the Lawyer’s office, and three minutes later the man walked off in a huff.  “Can I help you?” asked the secretary, dashing after the obviously upset man. “HELP ME? THIS GUY IS CRAZY!” I asked him to help me write a will and he said to me, ‘sure, let me just ask you a few questions and then leave it all to me.’  “I’ve heard before how lawyers are dishonest but this just takes the cake!”

Riddle Of The Day

Question: What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?

Answer: Short 

Good News Bad News

Paul was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable. Due however to Paul’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news.  Instead, he gave the sorry job to Paul’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently.

So the next morning, Paul’s wife Vera said, “Honey, I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?” Paul, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “What do I care? Just give me the bad news!” And Vera cupping Paul’s hand with her two hands said, “Well dear, I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.” Barely able to hold his voice from cracking, croaked out, “Vera, what’s the good news?” And happily, Vera said, “The good news is that, the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!” 

Birthday Surprise Gift

When Raphael decided to buy a present for his Uncle Solomon’s birthday, he sought the assistance of his older brother, bought a present, gift wrapped it, and brought it over to his uncle. His uncle, knowing that Raphael’s father manufactured apple juice, and seeing a wet spot on the bottom corner of the box, decided to have some fun with Raphael by trying to guess what was in the box.

“Hmm” said Uncle Solomon, dipping his finger on the wet spot and taking a quick taste, “I’m going to guess it’s a case of apple juice.” Jumping up and down clearly enjoying the game, Raphael said, “No.” Clearly surprised, Uncle Solomon asked, “Not apple juice?” After another quick taste and a brief pause he guessed again, “Is it apple cider?” Practically squealing in excitement, Raphael said, “No, IT’S A PUPPY!”

Anniversary Gift Dilemma

If there was one thing that got David’s wife Susan upset, it was not getting a thoughtful gift on a special occasion. So when David’s second Anniversary was coming up, he quizzed all his friends, co-workers, clients and anyone he happened to bump into, as to what would be a good anniversary present. He finally settled on a huge bouquet of flowers. Not willing to trust himself to pick out the right flowers, he called up a local flower shop with strict instructions to deliver the biggest most beautiful bouquet of flowers first thing in the morning with the following note, “Happy Anniversary Year Number Two!”

On the morning of the Anniversary, David made sure Susan would be the one to answer the door as he waited anxiously in the other room. “WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ALL ABOUT?!” Hollered Susan angrily holding up his well thought out note, “Happy Anniversary You’re Number Two!”

Being Polite

I work as a pediatric nurse, and often have the painful job of giving shots to the children. One day upon entering the examining room to give a shot, the little girl started screaming, “NO! NO! NO!” And her mother scolded, “Jessica! That is not polite behaviour!” At that, the girl continued to scream, “NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU! NO THANK YOU!”

The Speeding Drama

So there was this female business executive who was late for a meeting. She was going 65 on a street where the speed limit is 40. A cop pulled her over and said, “Ma’am, can I please see your license?” She replied, “I’m sorry officer, but I got it revoked two years ago for drunk driving.” His brow furrowed and he straightened up. “Well, can I please see the registration of your car?” She said, “I stole the car and I killed the driver; he’s in the trunk.” The cop instructed, “Ma’am, DON’T MOVE. I’m calling for backup.” He muttered furiously into his walkie-talkie.

Five minutes later, half the squad pulled up, and the Chief of Police walked over to the woman’s window, and asked sternly, “Ma’am, can I see your license?” “Of course, officer.” She smiled demurely and pulled out a license from her purse. He squinted warily at it, and said, “This looks legitimate,” he mumbled. “Can I see the registration to this car?” She pulled it out of the glove compartment and handed it to him. “Ma’am, stand back!” He banged open the trunk of the car and flinches; but it was completely empty. The woman brandished a finger at the first cop and said accusingly, “And I’ll bet that liar told you I was speeding too!!”

A Mother-In-Law Can Tell

When Andrew finally got engaged, he was excited to show off his new bride. He said to his mother, “Ma, I’m going to bring home three girls and I want you to guess which one is my fiancé.” Sure enough twenty minutes later, Andrew walked in the door with three girls following behind him. Without blinking an eye, his mother said, “It’s that one.” And Andrew exclaimed “Holy cow! How in the world did you know it was her?” She replied, “I just don’t like her.”

David’s Seal

When 3 year old David asked his mother if he could have an animal cracker, his mother said, “Sure David, open up the box and take a few.” And when forty five minutes later David’s mother walked into the kitchen, she asked, “David, why did you spill out all of the animal crackers? What are you looking for?” David replied “It said on the box not to eat it if the seal is broken. I spilled out the whole box, I looked through all of the animals but I can’t find any seals!”

Beyond Reasonable Doubt

A fellow’s wife went missing and being that everyone knew that he and his wife were in a big fight, he was accused of murdering her and disposing of the body. When witness after witness came to the stand testifying to all sorts of horrible threats that the accused threatened his wife and things were looking quite dim for the accused the man’s lawyer got up to the stand and said, “Ladies and Gentleman of the jury I have something quite exciting to tell you, if you would all please direct your attention towards the door behind me on my left you will see the supposedly dead woman walk in on her own two feet.”

There was a loud murmuring in the courtroom as all eyes turned towards the door. But after a few seconds of anxious waiting, the lawyer said, “Ladies and Gentleman, to be honest with you nobody is going to be walking through the door. However, from the fact that your eyes all turned towards the door, it is quite obvious that you are not sure beyond the shadow of a doubt about my client’s guilt.” To the lawyer’s great surprise, the jury decided that the man was guilty. The lawyer then questioned, “But how could you say that he is guilty?  Didn’t I prove it to you?” And one old lady explained, “It is true that we all turned towards the door. But there was one person who didn’t.” And when the indignant lawyer asked, “Who was that?” The reply was, “Your client.”

Making Sure

Existence was so tranquil and peaceful for the young couple of Adam and Eve, like straight out of a story book, until one unfortunate day when Adam showed up one hour late for supper. By the time Adam finally came home Eve was a nervous wreck, and her imagination was working overtime. As soon as Adam showed up, Eve questioned, “Honey, what happened? Why are you home so late?” With a wave of the hand, Adam responded, “Oh I’m sorry! I just lost track of the time.”

Now Eve didn’t have a Mother or girlfriend around to calm her fears, after all it was just her and her Husband and despite Adam’s convincing act her overactive imagination could not be calmed. That night after two hours of restlessly turning in her bed, enough was enough. Suddenly, Adam jumped out of bed and hollered “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?” Eve screamed right back, “YOU KNOW DARN WELL WHAT I’M DOING. NOW YOU BETTER LAY STILL RIGHT NOW, AND LET ME FINISH COUNTING THOSE RIBS!”

Unsurpassed Stress Level

When John’s wife Kate was in labour at home and was sure it was time to head to the hospital, his stress level was at unsurpassed levels.  Breathing heavily, John grabbed the phone and called the doctor. “MY WIFE, SHE’S READY, SHOULD WE COME?”  The doctor tried to relax the poor fellow, “Just try to relax, now tell me how much time elapses between the contractions?”  SYLVIA! John screamed on the top of his lungs, “HOW MUCH TIME IN BETWEEN THE CONTRACTIONS? TEN MINUTES? OK, TEN MINUTES IN BETWEEN!” And the doctor asked, “Is this her first child?” John blasted, “NO YOU STUPID NITWIT, THIS IS HER HUSBAND!”

For The Sick

In the middle of the service when little Joseph went with his mom to church Sunday, he complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to puke. His mother whispered in his ear, “No problem dear. Just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there.”

When thirty seconds later Joseph came back, his mother asked, “Did you go to the bathroom?” Joseph responded, “No need mom. Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it ‘for the sick’, so I just did it in there.”