A Satisfied Customer

When Grandma and Grandpa went visiting their son overnight, they were accommodated in the son’s master bedroom. Before dinner when Grandpa used the bath room, found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet. Just before bed time, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad. They're very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "They cost one hundred naira per pill." The son replied. Grandpa said, "I don't care. I'd still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow.”

Later the next morning, the son found six hundred naira under the pillow. He immediately called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was one hundred naira, not six hundred naira.” And Grandpa said, "I know, son. The five hundred is from Grandma."

Tuesday Quiz

Why do women wear panties with flowers on them?

Answer: In loving memory of all the faces that have been buried there.

Monday Quiz

What are the three words that can ruin a man's ego, in bed?

Answer: "Is it in?"

The Right Rhythm

When Ajoke received the call that her elderly grandfather has just passed away, she rushed straight to her grandparents' house to comfort her 95 year old grandmother. When she asked how her grandfather died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Ajoke told her grandmother that two people nearly 100 years old having sex was surely asking for trouble. Her grandmother said, "Oh no my dear. Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. It was nice, slow, even, and nothing too strenuous. It was simply in, on the ding, and out, on the dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today."

I Know The Whole Truth

While at school, Joseph's classmate tells him that most adults can very easily be blackmailed, because of at least one dark secret, they are hiding. All you need to say is, “I know the whole truth.” Joseph thought about this for a while, and decides to go home and try it out.

As Joseph arrives home, his mother greets him, he tells her, “I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him N100 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, he waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father immediately hands him N200 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

On his way to school the next morning, Joseph ran into their next door neighbour by the gate. He greets him pleasantly and says, "I know the whole truth." The neighbour heaves a sigh of relief, opens his arms, and says, "Thank God. Then come and give your Daddy a great big hug."

Mind Your Language

Thomas has a cat that he loved so much. He would spend most of his leisure hours, in training it various tricks. One day, Thomas took his cat to school. And when the teacher asked, “Thomas, why did you bring your cat to school today?"

Thomas started crying. It took the teacher for ages to console him. When eventually he was slightly composed, he said, “I heard my daddy tell my mummy, I am going to eat that pussy the moment Thomas leaves for school today'"