Sunday 31 August 2014

The Mall Experience

Two old guys are pushing their carts around in the shopping mall, when they collided. The first guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The second guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too, and I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."
The first guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?"

The second guy says, "Well, she is young, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big firm breasts, and a tight butt. What does your wife look like?"
To which the first guy says, "Never mind; let's just look for yours."

Saturday 30 August 2014

The Tithing Faith

There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got to the island, one of them started screaming and yelling. "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"

The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly, it was driving the first man crazy. "Don't you understand?" We're going to die!" The first man continued.
"You don't understand. I make N1,000,000 a week," said the second man.

The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, “What difference does it make? We're on an island with no food and no water. We're going to die." He concluded.
The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make N1,000,000 a week, and I tithe. My pastor will find me."

Friday 29 August 2014

In Sales



A passenger jet was going through a severe thunderstorm. As the passengers were being bounced around by the turbulence, a young woman turned to a minister sitting next to her, and with a nervous laugh asked, "Reverend, you're a man of God, can't you do something about this storm?"

And the Reverend replied, "Lady, I'm in sales, not management."

Thursday 28 August 2014

Choices

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Director was hit by a bus and she died. Her soul was met at the Pearly gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven", said St Peter. "Before you get settled in, it seems we have a problem. You see, we've never had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you".

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we are going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules." St. Peter said. And with that St. Peter puts the executive in an elevator and it went down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got in the elevator.
The elevator opened at the Pearly gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her. She spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So you have spent a day in hell, and a day in Heaven. Now choose your eternity," he said.
The woman replied: "Well I never thought I would say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went back to Hell.
When the doors opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks.

The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is are wastelands and garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting, today you're staff."

Wednesday 27 August 2014

The Days Of Disappearing Organs

Do you remember those days of disappearing organs? Yes, like history repeating itself, those days are back. What do you mean by, how do I mean? Hold it. Why don’t you just listen and learn. Now that you are ready to listen, I shall gist you how the matter happened. And as they say, “This matter happened before my two naked eyes.”

Last Saturday while on a window shopping trip to the mall, I ran into a small crowd, manhandling a well-dressed man with a briefcase, at one of the parking lots. My peace loving spirit quickly propelled me to the scene, which had rapidly become rowdy in just a few minutes. With the help of four other guys, we managed to bring the situation, a little bit under control; though a couple who later identified themselves as husband and wife, still held tightly to the man’s arms. 
The husband said, “As soon as my wife and I got out of our car, this man approached and smilingly stretched his hand, which I absent-mindedly grabbed for a warm handshake. Instantly, I felt a tingling sensation in my groin area. When I instinctively reach for my penis, I discovered it has disappeared.” He must give me back my penis, the husband insisted.

At this submission, the crowd went wild, pounced on the man and forced him to open his briefcase. Lo and behold, the briefcase held almost a dozen penisis of various sizes. As the husband excitedly grabbed one, his wife shouted, "My friend, drop that thing and pick a bigger one.” And sighting one particularly large penis, she exclaimed, “Oh my God, he got Mr. Johnson’s too!”

Tuesday 26 August 2014

A Wife’s Dying Wish



A loving husband sat by his dying wife on her deathbed, trying very hard to make light of his wife’s pains. The wife looked at her husband for a long moment, and with a trembling voice, she managed to give her final instructions.

"Tunde, you've been so good to me all these years. I know you never even thought about another woman. But now that I'm going, I want you to marry again as soon as is possible and I want you to give your new wife all my expensive clothes." She said.

"I can't do that, darling," Tunde said. Though she was far too weak to ask, her look was questioning enough. "You're a size 20 and she's only a size 12." He added.

Monday 25 August 2014

Farrakhan Defends Nigeria

After I had posted my, “Why Are We So Gullible” article yesterday, a brother sent me a video through my WhatsApp titled, “Farrakhan Won’t Kiss Caucasians Assess And Cater To Their Bloated Egos.” In the video, the interviewer, a Caucasian of course, started by saying, “… Nigeria could be the most corrupt nation in the world…” And pronto, Farrakhan jumped to our defense, with all smoking guns. You need to watch the video.

The way Farrakhan, admirably jumped to our defense, was reminiscent of our lawmakers defending their failed governance; the only difference being in the fact that the interviewer is correct. While I admired Farrakhan’s zeal, I didn’t buy his defense, because the interviewer wasn’t saying anything new. Who in the Committee of Nations, doesn’t know how corrupt, Nigeria is? I am sure Farrakhan and his kind, must be feeling pretty proud for defending their evil Nigerian brothers and sisters, at the expense of our suffering and dying masses.
How can these devil’s advocates, be so shamelessly wicked. How can any sane individual, shamelessly defend an open-secret? Who doesn’t know our treasury looters, ritualists, religious miss-leaders and terrorists? Who doesn’t know that our religious miss-leaders receive stolen monies and dedicate properties, acquired with looted funds? Who doesn’t know that we are more gullible than gullibility, itself? Who doesn’t know that we claim to be more religious than religion, itself? We even claim to know more about Jesus and Muhammad, than the Jews and Arabs, do. Who doesn’t know that ‘products of corruption,’ can’t fight corruption? Why are we paying lip-service to finding solutions, instead of going back to our roots to seek, original solutions?

Sunday 24 August 2014

Why Are We So Gullible?

I was having a quiet and relaxing weekend yesterday, after feeding my fish their second meal of the day, when my phone rang. I instinctively picked the call, without looking at the screen. But before I could answer with my usual, “Hi Angel,” the caller says, “Hello, is that you?” And I replied, “Yes, it’s me. It has got to be me, because I picked your call.”

“Won't you go to church?” The caller asked. “No darling.” I answered, amicably. “And why aren’t you going to church?” The caller asked. “Because, either they don't know what they are talking about/doing, or I'm too daft to understand.” And she says, “You can't be serious.” And I said, “I'm truly serious, darling. Think about religion and its practice. Why, where and when, was it born?”
After a few moments, she says, “According to my boss, religion is meant to caution most of human activities else people will kill on the streets without fear and even make love without shame like dogs.” And I asked, “And has it stopped all theses, senseless killings and all the promiscuities?”

“No, it’s getting worse by the day.” She agreed. “And the more churches and mosques we build, and claim to be more religious than religion itself, the worse it becomes. What a shame of a people.” I concluded.

Saturday 23 August 2014

Why I Want To Be A Preacher

After one of those lengthy Sunday services, a young boy boringly looked at his parents and says, "I've decided to become a Preacher, when I grow up."

"That would gladden our hearts a lot,” the mother said. “But what made you decide that?" She asked.
"Well," said the little boy. "Since I have to go to church on Sundays anyway, I figure it will be more fun to jump up and down the stage, raving and yelling, than to sit down and listen."

Friday 22 August 2014

The Importance Of A Three Consecutive Days

I believe that the most important three consecutive days, are yesterday, today and tomorrow. While it is popularly opined that, yesterday is history that we can't change, tomorrow is a mystery that we don't know and today is a reality for us to enjoy; I appreciate these three days, more as useful tools.

It is true that yesterday, is history. And history being a great teacher, you can’t enjoy/use any presumed reality of today, if you fail to appreciate the tutelage of yesterday. Our experiences and lessons of yesterday, therefore form the foundation upon which today is built. And without appreciating the lessons of yesterday, we can’t enjoy or manage the reality of today. Today is therefore a product of yesterday, which though can’t be changed, its experiences and lessons may be used to effectively manage and enjoy the reality of today.
And as today becomes the yesterday of tomorrow, tomorrow ceases to be as much a mystery as would be perceived. For he who fails to plan, has planned to fail. You can now build on your experiences of yesterday and today, to create an almost mystery-free tomorrow.

Removing A Curse

A man, who has had a bad run of luck, was discussing with his peers, when a total stranger butted in and says, “Please pardon me, I couldn’t help myself overhearing your discussions. Have you tried seeking professional help?”

Though initially startled by the stranger’s intrusion, the man quickly composed himself, and answers, “Yes, I have been to many workshops and consulted with a couple of Psychiatrists. As I was discussing with my friends, it is our considered opinion that my problem, maybe the effect of a curse.”
The stranger smiled knowingly and says, “Then you have to consult an original professional.”  Original what? The man and his friends chorused. “Yes, an original professional, a Witch Doctor.” The stranger concluded.

So the man goes to a Witch Doctor and asks, “Please, can you remove a curse that I have been living with for the last 20 years?” The Witch Doctor says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you." Suddenly, it all came to the man in a flash; and he says without any hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

Wednesday 20 August 2014

Some Classic Definitions And Cool Meanings

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water-power.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouths.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in the word - OPPORTUNITY.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Computer Engineer: Someone who gets paid for you to read these types of mails.

Tuesday 19 August 2014

Quick Quiz Of The Day

A murderer, who has been sentenced to life imprisonment, has to choose one of three rooms.

The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?

The third room is safest. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

Monday 18 August 2014

A Remarkable Long Celebration

A seemingly happily married couple decided to celebrate their first wedding anniversary in a next neighbourhood restaurant. After being seated in this fine restaurant, the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor.

Though they had been comfortably seated, and ordered a nice meal with a fine wine to go with it, the wife didn’t realize that she was being absent minded. So the husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?"
"Yes." she replies. "He's my ex-husband and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago."

The husband smiles and says, "That's remarkable, I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long."

Sunday 17 August 2014

A Disappearing Act

A man and a beautiful woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, who was taking another order at a table a few paces away, suddenly noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, but the woman acted unconcerned.

The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table.
Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, as if unaware that her dining companion had disappeared.

After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied, "No he didn't. He just walked in the door."

Saturday 16 August 2014

When An Atheist Met The Lake Monster

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Lake Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both.

As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in me."

"Come on God, give me a break." the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago, I didn't believe in the Lake Monster either."

Friday 15 August 2014

Feeling Like A Baby

Two elderly gentlemen in an old people’s home were sitting on a bench under a tree, when one turns to the other and says, “John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?”

John says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.” “Do you really feel like a newborn baby?” The first gentleman asked. “I sure do. No hairs, no teeth, and oh, I think I just wet my pants.” John replied.

Thursday 14 August 2014

It Is Between You And God




Mother Teresa said, “People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; be honest and frank anyway.”

“What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world the best you've got anyway.”

“You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; it was never between you and them anyway. We can do no great things, only small things with great love.”

Wednesday 13 August 2014

A Great Retirement Present

The neighborhood postman was retiring after 25 years. On his last day of delivering mail, all of the people on his route left him something in the mail box in honour of his retirement. Some, left money, some left small gifts, and some met him at the door and invited him in for a meal. This went on all through the neighborhood. As he proceeded through his route, the gifts got better and better. One house even gave him a gold watch.

He was so satisfied, but the last house paled in comparison. As he was putting the mail in the mailbox, the door opened, and the woman of the house stood there in her beautiful lingerie. She invited him inside. He knew that this woman's husband was a truck driver and was away, so he went inside. She proceeded to give him the day and night of his life.
The next morning he woke up to find she was bringing him breakfast in bed. While eating his breakfast, he found a dollar bill under his plate. With mixed feeling, he asked the lady, what with the dollar bill. She explained, "When I called my husband to ask him what we should give you for your retirement, he said, “Screw him. Give him a dollar. Breakfast was my idea."

Tuesday 12 August 2014

Time

While Philosophers have explained space, they haven’t explained time. Time is the inexplicable raw material of everything. With it, all is possible; without it, nothing can be achieved. The supply of time is truly a daily miracle, an affair genuinely astonishing when one attempts to examine it. You wake up in the morning, and behold your time-purse is magically filled with twenty-four hours of the unmanufactured tissues of the universe of your life. It is yours. It is the most precious of possessions. A highly singular commodity, showered upon you in a manner as singular as the commodity itself.

No one can take it from you. It can’t be stolen. And no one receives either more or less than you receive. Talk about an ideal democracy! In the realm of time, there is no aristocracy of wealth and no aristocracy of intellect. Genius is never rewarded by even an extra hour per day. And there is no punishment for a misuse. Waste your infinitely precious commodity as much as you will, and the supply will never be withheld from you. No mysterious power will say, "This man is a fool. He does not deserve time. He shall be cut off at the meter."
Time is more certain than all others. The income of time is not affected by Sundays or public holidays. Moreover, since you can’t draw on the future, it’s impossible to get into debt. You can only waste the present and passing moments. You can’t waste tomorrow; it is kept for you. You can’t even waste the next hour; it is kept for you.

You have to live on this, twenty-four hours of your daily time. Out of it, you have to spin health, happiness, pleasure, money, contentment, respect, and the evolution of your immortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of the highest urgency and of the most thrilling actuality. All these and many more depend on your effective use of your time.

Monday 11 August 2014

The Killjoy

On the night of their 40th anniversary, the reminiscing wife finds the negligee she wore on her wedding night and puts it on. She goes to her husband and says, "Honey, do you remember this?"

He looks up from his newspaper and says, "Yes dear, I do. You wore that same negligee the night we were married."
She says, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?" He nods and says, "Yes dear, I still remember."

"Well, what was it?" she asks.
Though he was not much in the mood for this, he however sighs and responds, "Well, honey, as I remember it, I said, Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out."

She giggles and says, "Yes dear, that's it. That's exactly what you said. So now that it is forty years later, and I'm in the same negligee, what do you have to say tonight?"
He looked her from up to down, and from down to up, then replied, "Mission accomplished."

Sunday 10 August 2014

Applying Hospital Rules

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.

After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him. “I don't know,” he said. “She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown.” He added.

While Painting The Church Tower

The tower on the old church, which is very high, was being painted on a rather hot day. The painter was about half way down, and as the tower was widening out, was taking more paint. The painter felt that he might not have enough paint to finish.

Since he was hot and tired, and did not care to make another trip to the ground, he decided to stretch the amount of paint by adding some paint thinner to it. When finished, he lowered himself to the ground and went about cleaning up.
Then he looked up to see the results of his work and noted that the area with the thinned paint looked decidedly different. He was pondering about what to do about it when the sky turned dark and there was a lightning flash and loud thunderclap.

And a loud booming voice, from the sky came with the words, "REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE."

Saturday 9 August 2014

Worldly Wealth

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel hears his plea and appears to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you." The man implores the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continues to pray that his wealth could follow him.
The angel reappears and informs the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and fills it with pure gold bars and places it beside his bed.

Soon afterward he dies and shows up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St. Peter. St. Peter seeing the suitcase says, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here." But, the man explains to St. Peter that he has permission and asks him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, St. Peter checks and comes back saying, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."
St. Peter opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaims, "You brought pavement?"

Being Quick To Judge

A man who smelled like rotten cabbage, sat next to a priest in an urban mass transit inter-city bus. The man's shirt, was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his well-worn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began to read. After a while, he turned to the priest and asked, "Say, Father, what causes arthritis?"

"My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap and wicked women, too much alcohol and contempt for your fellow man." The Priest replied.
"Well, I'll be damned," the man muttered and returned to his newspaper.

The Priest, thought about what he had just said to the man, nudged him, apologized and said, "I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have it Father,” the man answered. “I was just reading here, that the Pope does."

Thursday 7 August 2014

Health Benefits Of Moringa Leaves Powder

Health Benefits Of Moringa Leaves Powder (Product Requests: +2348034932534 SMS Only)

An individual needs sufficient amounts of certain vitamins, minerals, protein and other nutrients to maintain a healthy body and physical well-being. The Moringa leaves powder is an excellent source for many of these nutrients and can be a valuable source for many people.
Moringa Leaves Powder Contains:-
• 4 Times the Calcium of Milk.
• 4 Times the vitamin A of carrots.
• 7 Times the Vitamin C of oranges.
• 3 Times the Potassium of Bananas.
• Carbohydrates: Compounds heat and energy for the body and the primary fuel of the brain. Deficiency can cause the body to divert proteins and body fat to produce needed energy.
• Magnesium helps the body to maintain and repair cells while providing energy. Deficiencies can result in weakness, tiredness, vertigo, convulsions, nervousness, cramps and heart palpitations
• Fat is the most concentrated form of energy for the body and while excessive amounts can be damaging, some body fat is essential for insulation under the skin and protection of vital organs. It is also an important supply of energy for the body during times of famine.
• Fiber aids in digestion and is an important part of a healthy intestinal tract.
 Proteins are the “building blocks of life” and instrumental in the creation and maintenance of body muscle. There are 21 amino acids utilized by the body and although the body is able to manufacture most that it needs, there are several amino acids that must be acquired from a person’s diet. These “essential” amino acids are listed in the chart above (argentine, histidine, lysine, tryptophan, phenylalanine, methionine, threonine, leucine, isoleucine, valine). Usually, only animal products such as meat, eggs, and dairy contain all of the essential amino acids. Amazingly, Moringa leaves also contain them all.
• Magnesium helps the body to maintain and repair cells while providing energy. Deficiencies can result in weakness, tiredness, vertigo, convulsions, nervousness, cramps and heart palpitations
• Calcium is very important during the childhood years, calcium builds strong bones and teeth and assists in blood clotting. Deficiencies are common in pregnant and breastfeeding women and can cause rickets, bone pain and muscle weakness. Calcium builds strong bones and teeth, and helps prevent osteoporosis. Milk provides a lot of calcium, but Moringa leaves provide even more. 4 times the Calcium of Milk.
• Vitamin A acts as a shield against diseases of the eyes, skin and heart, diarrhea, and many other ailments. Carrots are very high in vitamin A, but Moringa leaves are even higher. 4 times the vitamin A of carrots.
• Vitamin C strengthens our immune system and fights infectious diseases including colds and flu. Citrus fruits such as oranges and lemons are full of vitamin C. Moringa leaves have even more. 7 times the Vitamin C of oranges.
• Potassium is essential for the brain and nerves. Bananas are the excellent source of potassium. Moringa leaves are even better. 3 times the Potassium of Bananas.
• Proteins are the “building blocks of life” and instrumental in the creation and maintenance of body muscle. There are 21 amino acids utilized by the body and although the body is able to manufacture most that it needs, there are several amino acids that must be acquired from a person’s diet. These “essential” amino acids are listed in the chart above (argentine, histidine, lysine, tryptophan, phenylanaline, methionine, thereonine, leucine, isoleucine, valine). Usually, only animal products such as meat, eggs, and dairy contain all of the essential amino acids. Amazingly, Moringa leaves also contain them all.

Moringa Leaves Powder - Small Dosage, Large Effect
A dosage of just two or three spoonful of Moringa leaves powder provides a substantial amount of most people's iron, calcium, vitamin A, and vitamin C. Especially important – a dosage of Moringa leaves powder delivers food-based nutrients which are proven to have far higher levels of resorption by the body than traditional multi-vitamin pills. This means a moderate daily dose of Moringa leaves powder provides you with a healthy amount of daily nutrients that your body can use with maximum efficiency.

USING MORINGA LEAVES POWDER
Moringa leaves powder can be added to any food or beverage and it will increase the vitamin, mineral and protein content. For healthy individuals, a few spoon full of Moringa leaves powder can be added to any meal to make it more nutritious. Since the nutrient content of Moringa leaves powder decreases if exposed to heat, add the powder after the food or drink has been prepared, just before serving. Moringa leaves powder has the greatest impact on those who are more vulnerable: malnourished children, pregnant or lactating women, children at weaning age and the elderly. Malnourished children ages 1-3 years should consume three rounded tablespoons of Moringa leaves powder each day. Pregnant or lactating women should consume six rounded tablespoons of Moringa leaves powder each day.

Moringa leaves powder has been clinically proven to increase the production of breast milk whether it is consumed before or after the birth of a baby. Mothers who took Moringa leaves powder were shown to produce more than 2x the amount of breast milk than those who didn't. We all know instinctively that breast milk is the ultimate food prescribed by nature for the infant child and Moringa leaves powder can be instrumental in helping mothers produce more of this precious food.

Wednesday 6 August 2014

How I Got Knocked Out

I woke up hale and hearty this morning, and looked forward to enjoying a beautiful, healthful and stress-free day; least expecting that I was going to be knocked out by a woman.

During lunch hour, I was in the elevator when a tall, beautiful and busty lady with excellent cleavage got on. She was the type you would gladly take home to mama. How could I have helped myself?
So, I was staring at her boobs when she said, “Would you please press one?” Without any hesitation, I gladly picked the left one.

“I don't remember much afterwards."

Don’t Be Quick To Ask For Divorce

A man and his wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club, when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big/wet kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

 His wife astonishingly glares at him and asks, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh, she's my mistress." The husband replied.

"Well that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable." She concluded.
 "I can understand that," replies her husband. "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping in Paris, or the Caribbean Cruise, no more summers in Las Vegas, no more Rolls-Royce in the garage, and no more country club, and we'll have to sell our 26-room house and move into two smaller homes, but the decision is yours." He also concluded.

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
"Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," Her husband replied.
"Ours is prettier." She says.

Don’t Be Quick To Ask For Divorce

A man and his wife were having a fine dining experience at their exclusive country club, when this stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big/wet kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.

 His wife astonishingly glares at him and asks, "Who the hell was that?"
"Oh, she's my mistress." The husband replied.

"Well that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough. I want a divorce. I am going to hire the most aggressive, meanest divorce lawyer I can find and make your life miserable." She concluded.
 "I can understand that," replies her husband. "But remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping in Paris, or the Caribbean Cruise, no more summers in Las Vegas, no more Rolls-Royce in the garage, and no more country club, and we'll have to sell our 26-room house and move into two smaller homes, but the decision is yours." He also concluded.

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
"Who's that with Jim?" asks the wife.

"That's his mistress," Her husband replied.
"Ours is prettier." She says.