An Uncanny Excuse

For a couple of hours, two men were enjoying a few drinks at a bar and were getting pretty drunk when one of them noticed a beautiful woman sitting in the corner. One man said to the other, “Jeez, I’d really like to dance with that girl.” And the other man said, “Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead and ask her. Don’t be a chicken.”

So he approached the lovely woman and said, “Excuse me. Would you be so kind as to dance with me?” Seeing the man was totally drunk the woman said, “I’m sorry. Right now I’m concentrating on matrimony and I’d rather sit than dance.” So the man humbly returned to his friend. And when the friend asked, “So what did she say?” He responded, “She said she’s constipated on macaroni and would rather shit in her pants.”