During their regular Sunday morning service when the pastor announced that he was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more money, there was a hush within the congregation. No one wanted him to leave, because he was so popular. Johnson, who owns several car dealerships stood up and proclaimed, "If our pastors stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year and his wife with a Honda CRV, to transport their children!" The congregation sighed in appreciation and applauded.
Then David, a successful businessman and lawyer, stood and said, "If our pastor stays on here, I'll personally double his salary and establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for his children!" And there was more sighs and loud applause. And when Doris, age 69 stood and announced with a smile, "If our pastor stays, I will provide sex!" There was total silence, until the pastor blushingly asked her, "Doris, you're a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?" Doris' 75 year old husband Mike, was now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied, "Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, Fuck him!"
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