The Interfering Wife

When old Max, owner of a National chain of jewelry stores lay dying, he called his wife to his side and said, “Hannah, I always meant to draw up a will but somehow I never got around to it. So pay close attention to my last wishes.” And his wife wept and then said, “Yes, Max, I am listening. Whatever you want will be done.” And Max started, “First of all, the business I leave to Harry.” But his wife protested, “Oh no Max, not to Harry! With Harry it’s girl-girls-girls! Leave the business to Jerome. He’s at least reliable and has a good head for figures.” And the dying man sighed, “Alright, let it be Jerome. To Harry I leave the stocks and bonds.” And again, his wife protested, “Better you should leave me the stocks and bonds. I should take care he doesn’t squander it on women or cards.” Again, the husband agreed, “Very well, in your name I leave the securities.”

And Max continued, “And the summer house I leave to our sweet Minnie.” The wife then exclaimed, “Minnie! For what does Minnie need another summer house? Her husband didn’t buy her one last year? Give it to Anna, her husband is a poor man. After all she’s our flesh and blood too.” And Max sighed resignedly, “Fine! Anna gets the summer house. And to our youngest Abe, I leave the car and the warehouses.” But when the wife again protested, “But Abe has already 2 cars. What does he need with another one? And he wants to be a musician, what would he do with warehouses? Take my advice and give them to Louis.” That did it! Old Max had taken all he could of his wife’s interference. Raising himself off the pillow and summoning his last ounce of strength, he snapped, “Hannah, you are a good woman and have been a fine wife and mother. But listen, who the hell, is dying around here, you or me?”