His Key To Heaven

It was time for Father John's Saturday night bath and the young nun had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. She was also instructed not to look at Father John's nakedness if she could help it, but do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning when the old nun asked the young nun how the Saturday night bath had gone, the young nun dreamily said, “Oh, sister! I've been saved.” And the old nun asked, “Saved? And how did that come about?”

Then the young nun said, “'Well, when Father John was soaking in the tub, he asked me to wash him, and while I was washing him he guided my hand down between his legs where he said the Lord keeps the Key to Heaven.” And the old nun said, “Did he now!” And the young nun continued, “And Father John said that if the Key to Heaven fitted my lock, the portals of Heaven would be opened to me and I would be assured salvation and eternal peace. And then Father John guided his Key to Heaven into my lock.”

And the old nun asked, “Is that a fact?” The young nun replied, “Yes, Sister! At first it hurt terribly, but Father John said the pathway to salvation was often painful and that the glory of God would soon swell my heart with ecstasy. And it did! It felt so good being saved.” And the old nun exclaimed, “That wicked old bastard told me it was Gabriel's Horn! And I've been blowing it for 40 years!!”