As I've aged, I've become kinder to, and less critical of myself.
I've become my own friend. I have seen too many dear friends leave this world,
too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it, if I choose to read or play on the computer
until 4 AM? I will dance with myself to those
wonderful tunes of the 60s and 70s, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep
over a lost love, I will. I will walk the beach, in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves, with abandon, if I
choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set. They, too, will get old. I know I am
sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten.
And, eventually, will remember the important things.
Sure, over the years, my heart has been broken. How can your
heart not break, when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even
when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give
us strength, and understanding, and compassion. A heart never broken, is
pristine, and sterile, and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived enough to have my hair turning
gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and too many have died before their hair could turn
silver. As I get older, it is easier to be positive. I care less about what
other people think. I don't question myself anymore. I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I love being older. It has set
me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever, but while
I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or
worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day (if I
feel like it).
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