How to win

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money said to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." His lawyer told him, "It's in the judge's hands now." And when the defendant asked, "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" His lawyer replied, "Oh no! This judge is a stickler for ethical behaviour. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favour of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked!" But when his lawyer said, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." The defendant said, "But, I did send them." His lawyer exclaimed, "What! You did?" The defendant smiled mischievously, and replied, "Yes. That's how we won the case." And when the lawyer said, "I don't understand." The defendant explained, "It's easy. I sent the cigars to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card."