When Are Some Foods, Spoiled?

Egg is spoiled when something starts pecking its way out of the shell; it is probably past its prime. Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese, but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled, or wrecked anyway, by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife. If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled. Flour is spoiled when it wiggles. Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth. Salt never spoils.