On Love

Love is not just an emotional titillation, for there is the dutiful responsibility of love as well. Unlike in our modern cultures where we tend to use the word love univocally, ancient Greeks stratified the definition of love. They understood and practiced the definition of love in terms of responsibilities and configurations of relationships. So they had a term for friendship love, another for parental love, for sexual love, and for love of the gods. The word “Philadelphia” came from the Greek stratification of love. It means “brotherly.” The word erotic came from the Greek word “eros,” which refers to sexual love. The Greek word for parental love was “storge.” And the word for love of the gods was “agape.”

All the above four ancient Greek definitions of love come into play in marriage. There’s friendship love in marriage. It’s why you go to movies together, play together, and chat together. There’s parental love in marriage. It’s why you take care of each other. It’s the love of care and protection. There’s of course erotic love in relationships. It’s what governs sensuality, sex and its eroticism. But then, there’s the love of the gods called agape. It’s unconditional love. The whole concept about agape is that the gods are so far removed from us they’re unmoved by what we do. The agape type of love is very critical in relationships. It’s being able to accept people despite themselves. And so, all four Greek notions of love have to be present in a relationship if it’s to succeed. There has to be care, friendship, sex and unconditional acceptance in relationships.