I Only Rubbed Against It

When a married man went to confessional and told the priest, "I had an affair with a woman, almost." The priest asked, "What do you mean, 'almost'?" And the man explained, "Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped." Then the priest said, "Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You're not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box."

The man then left the confessional, went over and said his prayers, then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching him, quickly ran over to him and said, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box." And the man replied, "Well, Father, I rubbed up against it, and you said it was the same as putting it in."