Some Random Facts_30

1. Termites may be small in size, but they fart more than any other creature. Camels come a close second, followed by zebras and cattle.

2. In 1985, Neil Armstrong and Edmund Hilary went to the North Pole together.

3. Director Guillermo del Toro owns a house called 'Bleak House' in which there's a room with a never ending rainstorm projected onto all windows and audio to match. He often uses this room to write.

4. In China, 171,000 people perished in 1975 due to the collapse of the Banqiao Dam, an event hidden from the world until 2005.

5. HDMI licensed manufacturers pay an annual fee of US$10,000 plus a royalty rate of $0.15 per cable, reduced to $0.05 if the HDMI logo is used.

6. In France, it is illegal to to publish photographs of handcuffed suspects, as they are not to appear guilty until proven so.

7. Oklahoma's 2016 Teacher of the Year moved to Texas in 2017 for a higher salary.

8. Netflix show 'Black Mirror' derives its name from the reflection you see in a switched off screen or monitor

9. Finland is the only country in the developed world where fathers of primary school age children spend more time with their children than mothers.

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Solomon’s Bible Story

When a Sunday school teacher asked her class to sketch a picture of their favourite Bible stories, she was puzzled by Solomon’s picture which showed four people sitting in a plane. So she asked him which Bible story it was meant to represent. And he said, “The flight to Egypt.” And the teacher said, “I see! And that must be Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus. But who is the fourth person?” And Solomon replied, “Oh, that’s Pontius the Pilot.”

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

The Talking Parrot

When a woman decided to own a pet to help keep her company at home, she went to her neighbourhood pet shop, found a beautiful parrot and decided to buy it. But before she paid for the bird, the pet shop owner looked at her and said, "Look, I should tell you first that this bird used to live in a whore house. Sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff." The woman thought about this, but still decided she would buy it anyway. The pet shop owner then sold her the bird and she took it home, hung the bird's cage up in her living room and waited for it to say something. The bird looked around the room, then at her, and said, "New house, new madam."

The woman was a bit shocked at the implication, but then thought, "That's not so bad." A couple of hours later, the woman's two teenage daughters returned from school. When they inspected the bird, it looked at them and said, "New house, new madam, new whores." The girls and their mother were a bit offended at first, but then began to laugh about the situation. And when a couple of hours later the woman's husband came home from work, the bird looked at him and said, "New house, new madam, new whores, but same old faces. Hi, Thommie!"

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

The Pickle Slicer Experience

A guy, who worked in a pickle factory where he had been employed for a number of years, came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion; the urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. When his wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, he said he'd be too embarrassed. And however vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.

But one day, a few weeks later when the guy came home absolutely ashen, his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. So she asked, "What's wrong?" And he said, "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" His wife exclaimed, "Oh, you didn't!" The guy said, "Yes, I did."  And when his wife asked, "So, what happened?" He replied, "I got fired." His wife Said, "No, I mean what happened with the pickle slicer?" And he said calmly, "Oh, she got fired too."

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

An Uncanny Gambler

One morning when a lady walked into the headquarters of a popular Bank carrying a large bag of money, she insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank before she opens a savings account, because it's a lot of money. The receptionist objected, stating, "You can't just walk in here and expect to see the president of the Bank.  He's a very busy man." The then lady added, "But I am here to make a very large cash deposit. The receptionist momentarily looked at the sack of money, walked to one of the rear offices, came back and said, "You're in luck this morning, he will see you." And she ushered her in to a large office, with the president, a nicely tailored man behind a great oaken desk who stood up and asked, "How may I help you?" She placed the bag of money on his desk and replied, "I would like to open a savings account." And when the president asked curiously, "How much would you like to deposit?" The lady dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk and said, "$180,000, if you please."

The President was surprised to see all that cash, so he asked, "Ma'am, I'm surprised you're carrying so much cash around, especially a woman. How did you come by this kind of money?" And the lady replied, "I make bets." Surprised, the president then asked, "Bets?  What kind of bets?" The lady said, "Well, for example, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square." The president exclaimed, "What! You want to bet me $25,000 that my balls, my testicles, are square?" He could hardly hold back from laughing. The lady responded, "Yes, you heard me right. In fact, by ten o'clock tomorrow morning, I'll bet you $25,000 that your balls will be square." The president smiled broadly, thinking he had a live one, agreed and shook her hand, "You've got yourself a bet!" The lady then said, "Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00 a.m. as a witness?" And the president replied confidently, "Sure!"

That night, the president got very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a mirror checking his balls, turning from side to side, again and again.  He thoroughly checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutely no way his balls were square and that he would win the bet. The next morning, at precisely 10:00 a.m., the lady appeared with her lawyer at the president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and repeated the bet, "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The president agreed with the bet again and the lady asked him to drop his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them. Though obviously embarrassed, the president thought to himself, "Yes, $25,000 is a lot of money,” then said, “Well! I guess it is okay you should be absolutely sure." 

And as the lady started to feel the president's testicles, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging his head against the wall. So he asked the lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" And the lady replied, "Nothing, except that I had bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 a.m. today, I'd have the balls of the president of this Bank in my hands."

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Love, The Martian Way

In the year 2258 when James and Josephine landed on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles, they meet a Martian couple and started talking about all sorts of things. After a while, James asked if Mars had a stock market, if they had laptop computers, how they make money, and so on and so forth; while Josephine discussed hobbies, cuisines on Mars, and the like. Finally when Josephine brought up the subject of sex, she asked, "Just how do you guys do it?" The Martian woman responded, "Pretty much the same way you do!" Discussion then ensued, and when curiosity finally got the better of them, the couples decided to swap partners for the night and experience one another.

Josephine and the male Martian then went off to a bedroom, and when he stripped reviling only a teeny, weeny member of about half an inch long and just a quarter inch thick, Josephine understandably said, "I don't think this is going to work!" And the Martian asked, "Why? What's the matter?" Josephine replied, "Well, it's just not long enough to reach me!" The Martian said, "No problem!" He then proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap, his member grew until it's quite remarkably long. And Josephine said, "Well, that's quite impressive, but it's still pretty not thick enough." Again, he said, "No problem!" Then he started pulling his ears. With each pull, his member grew thicker and thicker until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to Josephine, who then exclaimed, "Wow!" They then fell into the bed and made mad and passionate love for many hours.

The next day when the couples had re-joined their normal partners and gone their separate ways, James asked, "Well, was it any good?" She responded, "I hate to say it honey, but it was pretty wonderful; how about yours?" And he replied, "It was horrible! All I got was a terrible headache!! She kept slapping my forehead and pulling my ears!!!"

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Some Random Facts_29

1. "Bumpsy," is17th century slang for "drunk."

2. "Swatting" happens when someone makes a call to a police department with a false story of an ongoing crime –often with killing or hostages involved– in an attempt to draw a large number of police officers to a particular address.

3. In 2017, a Texas wedding photographer was awarded a $1 million defamation verdict against a married couple whom the jury found posted false statements in a social media campaign after being unhappy about a surprise $125 fee.

4. Beethoven managed to keep working even after he completely lost his hearing by the time he was 45. By clenching a stick in his teeth, holding it against the keyboard of his piano, he could discern faint sounds.

5. Ghanaian soccer player Mohammed Anas accidentally thanked both his wife and his girlfriend in a speech after a match.

6. A lychnobite is someone who sleeps all day and works all night.

7. Riding a roller coaster can help patients to expel their kidney stones.

8. The use of CAPITAL LETTERS TO DENOTE SHOUTING dates back to the 19th century.

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/