Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

When an old lady handed her cheque to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $500.00.”

The female teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $5,000, please use the ATM.” The old lady then asked, “Why?” The teller irritably told her, “These are rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a queue behind you.” She then returned the cheque to the old lady. But the old lady humbly received the cheque from her, remained silent, and after a while returned the cheque to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”  The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and said to the old lady, “My apologies Granny, you have $3.5 billion in your account and our bank does not have so much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?"

The old lady then asked, “How much am I able to withdraw now?” And the teller told her, “Any amount up to $300,000.” So the old lady then told the teller that she wanted to withdraw ₹300,000 from her account. The teller did so quickly and handed it to the old lady respectfully. The old lady kept $500 in her bag and asked the teller to deposit the balance of $299,500 back into her account. And the teller was dumbfounded.

Lesson: While rules are inflexible, humans can be flexible when the situation so requires. We should not treat people based on their looks or how they are dressed. Rather, we should treat everyone with respect. And never be too quick to judge a book by its cover.

The Exhibition Of Ignorance

The other day while at the dentist, and waiting at reception, a pastor came in and sat by my side. After a while, he looked at me familiarly and said, “Pardon me, sir! But you look familiar. Where do you worship?” And I shot back, “Worship?” He then explained, “I mean what church, do you attend?” And I replied, “Oh, that! I don’t attend anymore.” And when he asked, “Why don’t you attend church anymore?” I responded, “It’s simple! It is either they don’t know what they are doing/talking about, or I’m too daft to understand.” He looked at me quizzically, then requested, “May you permit me to tell you about God, His son Jesus, heaven and hell, and life after death?”

Then I smiled and said, “Sure but before you do, may I ask you a question?” And when he said to go ahead, I asked, “A cow, a horse and a goat all eat the same grass stuff, yes? Yet a goat excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps! Why do you suppose that is so?” The pastor visibly surprised by my question, replied, “Hmmm, I have no idea.” So I said, “You see what I mean! Do you really feel qualified to discuss what you have heard of God, His son Jesus, heaven and hell, or life after death? I mean, do you really feel qualified to discuss what you have heard from people who were not even part of their happenings, when you don’t even know shit that is here?”

How To Save The Airlines

Just the other day, I heard someone say, “If you really want to save the Airlines, you should dump all the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Then replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman and bored husbands would start flying again, hoping to see some nice naked women.”

And when his friend asked for the economic sense, he continued, “Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.' And Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues. This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right, a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.”

All That You Will Ever Need

As I lay down there and musing, a phone rang in my head and when I picked it, a voice said, “Hello!” So I responded, “Yes!” And the voice said, “It’s me.” And when I quarried, “And who is it’s me? Since when has it’s me, become a name and a means of identification?” The voice said, “I’m your constant companion, and I can be your greatest helper or your heaviest burden. I can lift you up to stardom or drag you down to failure. I am at your command. Turn your tasks over to me, and I shall perform them, quickly and perfectly.”

And when I said, “That’s interesting!” The voice continued, “Half of the tasks that you do you might just as well turn over to me and I will do them quickly and correctly. I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me. Show me exactly how you want something done. After a few lessons, I will do it automatically. I am the servant of all great people and the regret of all failures as well. Those who are great, I have made great. Those who are failures, I have made failures.”

And calmly I asked, “So tell me! Are you a Robot?” And the voice replied, “No! I am not a machine. but I will work with all its precision plus the intelligence of a person. Now you may run me for profit or you may run me for ruin. It makes no difference to me. All you have to do is to take me, train me, be firm with me and I will lay the world at your feet. I am all that you will ever need, and my name is, Mr. Habit.”

Some Additional Random Facts

1.       Oral sex was illegal in Singapore until 2007.

2.       Each year, Google receives more than two million job applications from around the world.

3.       Donald Trump was the most Googled person of 2016 in 88 countries, including Mexico, Spain, South Africa and New Zealand.

4.       In 2014, individual Americans gave US$258 billion to charity —more than twice the amount given by corporations and foundations combined.

5.       A NY man spent almost 5 months in prison in 2014, unaware that his bail was US$2.

6.       After Barack Obama visited Kenya in 2015, two women named their sons Air Force One.

7.       Converse shoes, is a Nike Company since 2003.

8.       18 years after Vietnamese man Ma Van Nhat had surgery for injuries sustained in a car crash, doctors found surgical scissors in his abdomen.

9.       On a QWERTY keyboard a typist's fingers cover 20 miles a day; on a Dvorak keyboard it's only one mile.

10.   The longest human nipple hair was 17 cm (6.6 in) long.

11.   You can die instantly after being struck by a dropping coconut.

12.   Ernest Hemingway received 36 shock treatments for depression, some of which impaired his memory so badly that he couldn't remember his name.

13.   Englishman Ken Edwards ate 36 Madagascan cockroaches in one minute in 2001.

14.   According to a Pew study, 56% of Americans think the use of atomic bombs in Japan in 1945 was justified, down from 63% in 1991.

15.   Before the invasion of Iraq in March 2003, Saddam Hussein had turned over the day-to-day running of the Iraqi government to his aides and was spending most of his time writing a novel.

16.   One-armed tennis player Hans Redl played at Wimbledon from 1947 to 1956. He served by tossing the ball up with his racket.

Save Yourself, Girl!

•You check his Profile picture. •He drives a Range Rover Sport 2016. •He is handsome. •He inbox you. •You reply, all excited. •You'll want to hook up. •You set a date. •You dress up with Legging and wear no panties. •You smelling good. •You put on a makeup, fresh breath and new weave. •He takes you for lunch at Eka Hotel. •He takes you for drinks at Java. •You two have a good time. •He rubs your hand. •He makes you laugh. •He gives you looks and smiles. •And you stupidly fall in love.

•It's like you've known him forever. •He takes you to his apartment. •He makes you feel comfortable and lays you on his bed. •He kisses you passionately. •You love his aggression, strength, power and you give in.

•It feels good. •You know it's wrong, but it feels good. •You ask for protection, he says it's too late. •You obey and don't disturb. •He says he loves you and you don't hesitate to say you love him too. •He hits it nice and slow. •After, he goes to the kitchen to get a glass of water. •He helps you drink it, ooohh man. •You feel special. •You think to yourself, “He must be the one.” •You get dressed. •He takes you to the taxi park. •He kisses you on the cheeks and says, "I had a great time." •He gives you cash. •You smile and say, "See you tomorrow babe." •He stays silent. •Your taxi drives away. •In the taxi, you can't stop smiling. •You get home and inbox him that you got home safe. •He is online, but doesn't reply.

•It's unlike him, so you inbox him again. •He doesn't respond. •Minutes later you can't find him on your friend list. •HE BLOCKED YOU. •Days, weeks, months pass by. •You start feeling sick, weak, lose weight, act strange with sores in your mouth. •You go to the clinic. •You get tested. •Minutes later, the Nurse walks in and says, "I'm sorry! You're HIV Positive and Pregnant!!" •You exclaim, "HOW?" •You don't understand. •Reality hits you. •You walk home. •You are scared. •You are confused. •You go to the bus stop. •You lay, hopeless, emotionless. •You see death coming nearer. •You look into the sky and mumble a prayer. •That's the end of you.

“Don’t be that girl! Live well! Stop chasing after material things! Stop chasing sponsors! Be a girl you want your daughter to be! Live a life, not a lie!!” Please feel free to share, for sharing is caring and may save lives.

The World Is Mine

Today, while up on a bus, I saw a very beautiful woman and wished I were as beautiful. When suddenly she rose to leave, I saw her hobble down the aisle. She had one leg and used a crutch. But as she passed, she passed a smile. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two legs; the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy. The lad who sold it had such charm. I talked with him, he seemed so glad. If I were late, it'd do no harm. And as I left, he said to me, "I thank you, you've been so kind.       It's nice to talk with folks like you. You see, I'm blind." Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two eyes; the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street, I saw a child I knew. He stood and watched the others play, but he did not know what to do. I stopped a moment and then I said, “Why don't you join them dear?" He looked ahead without a word. I forgot, he couldn't hear. Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I have two ears; the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go, with eyes to see the sunset's glow, and with ears to hear what I'd know! Oh, God, forgive me when I whine. I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine. I have been truly blessed, with some very beautiful things and some very special people in my life.