Thought For Today

When you feel you are the best thing to happen to your spouse, but your spouse does not think so; it’s either your spouse lacks qualitative appreciation, or you have an exaggerated opinion of yourself.

What Is The Price Of Happiness?

Sigmund Freud once said, “Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.” Often times, most people blame others for what they may be going through; without a thought for the expectations of the others, being blamed. Just as you claim to have a right to expect others to behave in a certain way towards you, so also do they have the right to respond in their individual ways according to their individual convictions; why should you take that away from them?

While one School of thought believes, there is a supreme being who determines how and where you are born, another School of thought believe, you determine how and where you are born. Either way, the deed is done. So take responsibility for your life, because your happiness depends on your self-reliance. Learn to respect and appreciate the individuality of others, as you wish they do yours. Instead of brooding over your supposedly wrong choice of birth, career or spouse, turn your wounds and worries into wisdom. For everything that you’ve experienced, will give you the upper hand in dealing with everything you may be experiencing, and or yet to experience.

The Overzealous Maid

The other day when I went to visit one of my rich family friends, I had more than I could handle from their overzealous maid. As soon as I arrived, she approached and the following ensued.

The Maid: What would you like to have? Fruit juice, Yoghurt, Tea, Chocolate, Cappuccino, Frappuccino or Coffee?

Me: Tea please.

The Maid: Will that be Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea, Jericho gold tea, Bush tea or Green tea?

Me: Ceylon tea please.

The Maid: How do you want it, Black, or White?

Me: White, please.

The Maid: With milk or fresh Cream?

Me: With milk.

The Maid: Goat milk or Cow milk?

Me: Cow milk, will be fine.

The Maid: Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?

Me: Hum, let me go with the freeze land cow.

The Maid: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?

Me: Sugar.

The Maid: Bee sugar or Cane sugar?

Me: Cane sugar

The Maid: White, brown or yellow sugar?

Me: I beg, forget about the tea and just give me a glass of water.

The Maid: Mineral, Tap or Distilled water?

Me: Mineral water.

The Maid: Flavored or non-flavored?

Me: Intact, just get me an empty glass.

The Maid: Do you want a Tumbler, Wine glass, Champagne flute or Beer mug?

Me: I beg, free me. I don tire. I go swallow my spit.

More Unbelievable Facts

1.       There's a species of fish called "Slippery Dick".

2.       In 2012, a couple invited Queen Elizabeth II to their wedding as a joke, and she turned up.

3.       During the 7th century B.C., ancient Roman "vestal virgins" were required to keep their hymens intact as proof of virginity until age 30 or they would be buried alive.

4.       The world's oldest hotel has been operating since 705 AD.

5.       Lobsters are considered to be the cockroaches of the sea.

6.       Cockroaches appeared 120 million years before the dinosaurs.

7.       A Colombian woman was raised by monkeys after being kidnaped and abandoned in the jungle as a child.

8.       Cotton Candy was invented by a dentist.

9.       In 2011, a monkey was arrested in Pakistan for crossing the border with India.

10.   The Roman Emperor Gaius Caligula made his horse a senator.

11.   Octopuses are eaten alive in Korea.

12.   The night before his execution, a man in Georgia escaped from prison and, later that night, was beaten to death in a bar fight.

13.   Cleopatra, the last Pharaoh of Egypt, was actually Greek, not Egyptian.

14.   Heroin was initially used to treat people addicted to morphine.

15.   As a child, Hitler wanted to be a priest.

16.   All three Grammys Elvis Presley won, were for his gospel songs.

17.   Hitler was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in 1939.

18.   In the USA, ransom payments to kidnappers are tax-deductible.

19.   Saddam Hussein wrote a Romantic Novel.

20.   The Golden Gate uses the largest bridge cables ever made, long enough to encircle the world more than 3 times at the equator.

A Logical Calculation

In 2006 a study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. And recent study found that Americans drink an average of 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on the average, Americans get about 41 miles per gallon, yes?

When Are Some Foods, Spoiled?

Egg is spoiled when something starts pecking its way out of the shell; it is probably past its prime. Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already. Cheddar cheese is spoiled when you think it is blue cheese, but you realize you've never purchased that kind.

Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled, or wrecked anyway, by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife. If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled. Flour is spoiled when it wiggles. Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth. Salt never spoils. 

Some Unbelievable Facts

1.       Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate birthdays because the only two accounts of birthday parties in the Bible ended in murder.

2.       In Jamaica, sex between men is punishable with up to 10 years' imprisonment. But lesbian action is allowed

3.       Iran arrested 14 squirrels for spying in 2007.

4.       Two actors have died playing Judas in live Biblical productions by accidentally hanging themselves for real during his death scene.

5.       In Iran, a law from 2013 allows Men to marry their 13-year-old adopted daughters.

6.       The world's biggest family lives together in India: a man with 39 wives and 94 children.

7.       Gandhi never won the Nobel Peace Prize, despite being nominated five times.

8.       The World's oldest known creature, a Mollusc, was 507 years old until scientists killed it by mistake.

9.       Part of the White House was built by slaves.

10.   A British teacher in Sudan was arrested because she allowed her primary school class to name a teddy bear "Muhammad".

11.   In 2013, a man bought a house next to his ex-wife just to install a giant middle finger statue for her to see every day.

12.   In 2009, Nigerian Police arrested a goat on suspicion of attempted armed robbery.

13.   In 2011, a woman bought a "non-visible" piece of art for $10,000.

14.   In 2013, a girl survived ASIANA's Plane Crash, only to be run over and killed by a responding fire truck.

15.   In 2011, a man killed his wife inside the Walmart she was working at. Rather than close the store, they chose to just rope off the gore-splattered area while police investigated.

16.   Alexander the Great, Napoleon, Mussolini and Hitler, all suffered from ailurophobia, the fear of cats.

17.   Charles Darwin Ate Every Animal He Discovered.

18.   A man received the heart of a suicide victim, married his widow, and years later killed himself on the same way his donor did.

19.   In 2005, A Chinese Company used skin harvested from the corpses of executed convicts to develop beauty products for sale in Europe.