Do You Want A Wedding Or A Marriage?

 As the Chairman at a wedding reception and in line with my purpose, I told the audience a story of a friend who walked into my office a few weeks after his wedding to borrow N20,000.00, for their upkeep. His wedding had cost about N3 Million. And that set me thinking. A wedding is that one-day event, while a marriage is a life-time experience. Would you prefer a fantastic wedding and a marriage full of financial frustrations? On the other hand, would you prefer a moderately priced wedding and a marriage where there is enough money to spend after buying the necessary items?

As an African thinker, I figured that the poverty in our society is induced by our insistence on impressing other people. We fail to appreciate that most people don’t really care whether we exist or how we exist. And my generation should consider the following:

1.       At least 60% of attendees at Nigerian weddings are unknown to the couple. Most guests wouldn’t even recognize couples on the street after the wedding, because there is no connection beyond the food and drinks.

2.       Lower class and middle class weddings in Nigeria are largely financed by the entire savings of couples who must have worked for long hours with meager income for a period of three to five years and left to start their lives from scratch after this one-day event.

3.       Our weddings are conducted under the impression that guests would present cash and quality gifts to the couples, but at the end, couples get plastics and kitchen utensils as if their entire life would be spent in the kitchen.

             

4.       The society and family members can afford to sponsor the supply of drinks and food at weddings rather than sponsor business ideas that can sustain marriages of a couple for a lifetime.

5.       We can put an end to financial frustrations in marriages and domestic violence if the monies spent during weddings are diverted to help couples comfortably start their lives. Don’t let anyone put you under any pressure! Anyone who insists on an elaborate wedding should provide the funds.

6.       ‘Aso Ebi’ is not compulsory!(My mother and my family folks know that there is no mortal man living or dead, that can compel me to buy Aso Ebi) Bridal train is not by force! Groom’s men are not essential!

7.       The most important memory of any wedding is the picture of the smiling couple, which is placed on the wall of every home. This picture does not show the cost of renting the reception hall, the cost of foods and drinks. Neither does it show the price of the cake or cost of decoration or the rented Limousine.

8.       It is better to monetize gifts for couples, then leave them to decide what to do with it. A monetary gift after a wedding is more valuable than before the wedding.

9.       The society should demonstrate genuine love for couples.

10.   If you can afford it, please ‘turn it up’! Otherwise, don’t let anyone put you under pressure.

“Please feel free to share, for sharing is caring.”