Heard Of The Nigerian Hell?

When everywhere you go these, all you hear are the negative things about Nigeria, I was beginning to believe that Papa God may have really forsaken her; until I heard about the Nigerian hell. Them say, even other nationals are now queuing to get into the Nigerian hell. Them also say, though all the hells have identical infrastructures and codes of conduct of first putting you in an electric chair for one hour, after which they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour, before the devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day; the Nigerian hell is still pulling the crowd.

 

Upon further investigation, it was revealed that the Nigerian hell will continue to pull the crowd because there is never any electricity so the electric chair doesn't work. And though the nails for the bed of nails were ordered and paid for, they were never supplied by the contractor. So the bed is as comfortable as ever to sleep on. And the Nigerian devil used to be a civil servant truant; so he comes in, signs his time sheet and goes back home, and or goes to do his private business.

The Packaging

A well endowed and heavily perfumed lady walked into the banking hall in her pencil-heel shoes that announced her arrival minutes before you saw her, wearing the type of dress that tells you heaven is missing an angel. And the phone she gingerly held to her ear without minding the security guy frantically waving at her that calls are not allowed in banking halls, will cost a small fortune. When she stepped forward, picked a deposit slip and frantically searched for a pen, about five guys offered their pens, but she took mine maybe because I was closest to her.

 

After a while, or what seemed like a long while because time seemed to have stood still, she stood up, inched closer to me and whispered, “Please, how do you spell thirty?” I then looked at her deposit slip and I was shocked to see that she had written, “tarty tausan.” I exclaimed, “Chineke! Papa God, why?” I hissed, snatched my pen from her hand and added, “Fine face, no brains!” And another admirer added, “All na packaging!”

Beware Of Bacteria Transfer Agents

The most common Bacteria Transfer Agents are Handbags, Briefcases, Gym Bags, Laptop Cases, in fact all Carrying Cases, and even our palms after handshakes with others. Have you ever noticed that we often set these handbags and cases on public toilet floors, then go directly to their dining tables and set same on the tables? Happens a lot, yes? So it's not always the restaurant food that causes stomach distress. Sometimes what you don't know will hurt you!

Mom got so upset when guests came in the door and plopped their handbags down on the counter where she was cooking or setting up food. She always said that handbags are really dirty, because of where they have been. It's something just about every woman carries with them. While we may know what's inside our handbags, do you have any idea what's on the outside? Women carry handbags everywhere; from the office to public toilets to the floor of the car. Most women won't be caught without their handbags, but did you ever stop to think about where your handbag goes during the day?

A woman said, “I drive a school bus, so my handbag has been on the floor of the bus a lot.” Another woman said, “I put mine on the floor of my car and on wash room floors.” And another said, “I put my handbag in grocery shopping carts and on the floor of the toilet, and of course in my home which should be clean.” So we decided to find out if handbags harbour a lot of bacteria. We learned how to test them at Nelson Laboratories in Salt Lake, and then we set out to test the average woman's handbag.

Most women told us they didn't stop to think about what was on the bottom of their handbag. Most said at home they usually set their handbags on top of kitchen tables and counters where food is prepared.. Most of the ladies we talked to told us they wouldn't be surprised if their handbags were at least a little bit dirty. It turns out handbags are so surprisingly dirty, even the microbiologist who tested them was shocked. Microbiologist Amy Karen of Nelson Labs says nearly all of the handbags tested were not only high in bacteria, but high in harmful kinds of bacteria. Pseudomonas can cause eye infections; staphylococcus aurous can cause serious skin infections and salmonella and e-coli found on the handbags could make people very sick.

In one sampling, four of five handbags tested positive for salmonella, and that's not the worst of it. “There is faecal contamination on the handbags” says Amy. Leather or vinyl handbags tended to be cleaner than cloth handbags, and lifestyle seemed to play a role. People with kids tended to have dirtier handbags than those without, with one exception. The handbag of one single woman who frequented nightclubs had one of the worst contaminations of all. “Some type of faeces or possibly vomit,” says Amy. So the moral of this story is that your handbag won't kill you, but it does have the potential to make you very sick if you keep it on places where you eat. Use hooks to hang your handbag at home and in toilets, and don't put it on your desk, a restaurant table, or on your kitchen countertop.

Experts say you should think of your handbag the same way you would a pair of shoes. If you think about putting a pair of shoes on your countertops, that's the same thing you're doing when you put your handbag on the countertops. Your handbag has gone where individuals before you have walked, sat, sneezed, coughed, spat, urinated, emptied bowels, etc! Do you really want to bring that home with you?

The microbiologists at Nelson also said cleaning a handbag will help. Wash cloth handbags and use leather cleaner to clean the bottom of leather handbags.

 

“Sharing is caring, and prevention is better than cure. So share to your grandmothers, grandfathers, moms, fathers, daughters, sons, granddaughters, grandsons, girlfriends, boyfriends and husbands.”

A Lesson From A Child

Once upon a time, a frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor and when he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. One day, the son said, “We must do something about Grandfather. I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.” So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. 

There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometime he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four-year-old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” And just as sweetly, the boy responded, “Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.” The four-year-old smiled and went back to work on the bowl.

 

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done. That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

The Faulty Hotel Window

A husband and wife decided to spend some quality time together and away from home, in order to work on their marriage which seemed to be disintegrating very fast. So they checked into a nice five star hotel, and were given a room on the eleventh floor, with a beautiful view of the city. They settled down nicely and chatted about old times. They then went ahead and had a romantic and love-filled first night, semblance of their honeymoon. In the morning, they decided to celebrate with a Champagne breakfast in their room.

 

Midway into their breakfast the wife said, “I don’t just know why I am having a nagging feeling that you are being this nice, because you are feeling guilty about something.” And the husband asked, “Are you by any means feeling guilty about something that you have done? Is it being difficult for you to come forth and confess?” Immediately, the wife snapped and started a hot argument with missiles being thrown. So the husband called the front desk and said, “This is room 1120. My wife and I are having an argument and she is trying to jump out of the window. Please send a technician quick.” And the desk clerk responded, “I'm sorry sir, but that's a personal matter." Then the husband retorted, “But the window won't open! And that's a maintenance matter!”

After Church Service

When a seemingly happily married couple got home after church service one Sunday morning, the husband went straight into his study and shut the door. After a while, the wife got concerned, went after him and found him sitting quietly on his chair and staring at the ceiling. So, the wife asked, "Darling, why are you sitting so quietly and staring at the ceiling? What is it that is bothering you?"

And the husband replied, "I'm still thinking about what the pastor said. It doesn't make me feel very comfortable." Then the wife asked, “What is there, to make you uncomfortable?" And when the husband responded with, “The pastor’s confession that, he'd slept with all the single and married women in the church but one. That on ONLY ONE woman didn’t want to sleep with him!" The wife said, “It must be that Mrs. Kokori!  She thinks she is better than everyone!"

A Lesson In Humility

Nathan S V, Human Resources Leader at Deloitte narrated the following incident.

I was a freshly minted graduate of a leading B School and wore its stripes proudly on my shoulders. I was to join a British Multinational in one of their plants in Gomia, Bihar as a Management Trainee.  They chose only the best. And I was full of it, all puffed up. The night train from Calcutta would reach Gomia in the morning. I had a letter that said that there would be a car to pick me up from the station and take me to the guest house. The coal fired engine creaked up to the station and I alighted with my canvas hold-all, yes we had such things in those days. There was not a soul in sight to receive me. I felt let down. I heaved the luggage on my shoulder and came to the exit.

 

There I saw a nice car. The driver in a khaki shorts and a white coloured tee shirt was walking towards the car. Aah, my driver, there he was! I went up to him and brusquely asked him to open the trunk and keep my luggage. He asked me in Hindi, who I was and I introduced myself. All this in a condescending way, and asked him to take me to the Guest House. He said he would be happy to drop me. The driver heaved the luggage in, opened the rear door and had me seated. He asked me if I was comfortable. This was getting better. Throughout the ride he asked me questions about my family etc. in a kind sort of way. I responded in monosyllables, irritated with a driver, who spoke too much. Near the guest house, he alighted and a couple of the staff ran up to the car and saluted me. I thought I saw some exchange with the driver and they respectfully carried my luggage. I waved out to the driver, who wished me the best in my new job.

 

The next day was a big day. I was to meet the big daddy of the place- the Chief Executive – Dr.S.K.Varma. And I was nervous. I went in early to the factory.  His secretary ushered me into a corridor that led up to the room. I knocked on the door and walked into the large office. The big man in his over=alls, had his back to me and as he turned I recognized the man he was the driver in factory clothes. I burst out, “Hey, what are you doing in this office?” He gave me a broad smile and in chaste English said he was Shiven Varma, and asked me to take a seat. I choked and could have died in that instant. My feet were all jelly and I apologized profusely for my behaviour and was at a loss for words. He said that he had come to the station to see off a friend. And he had seen me and wanted to be of assistance. And played along for he knew I had mistaken him to be a driver.

 

He offered me tea and had a long conversation. He said, “Outside of work, one should not wear their education, only use them.” And he never referred to the incident, almost as if it did not happen. As I walked away, I learnt the greatest lesson in humility. So, the guest house staff were actually saluting him, not me!! My ego came crashing down. Shoulders hunched, weighing heavily with lessons learnt, I exited his office. Humility is playing a role, any role, whatever the role may be. Even if the was that of a driver. Dr. Varma never referred to this incidence ever, not even in any informal chat.  He was unknowingly driving home a lesson in humility. “Be Humble”

A Highly Dangerous Virus

The Surgeon General has warned of a highly dangerous virus called WORK. It is Weekly Overload Recreational Killer. And it has been spreading around since Monday. If you come in contact with this WORK virus today, you should immediately go to the nearest “Biological Anxiety Relief” center called, “BAR” to take antidotes known as, "Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract" also known as “WINE” or "Radioactive Un-work Medicine" also known as “RUM” or "Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter" also known as “BEER” or "Vaccine Official Depression Killing Antigen" also known as “VODKA”.

 

Please feel free to share, for sharing is caring.

Talk Of Rights!

A husband returned from work one day, looked at his wife quizzically and said, “We can’t continue like this! Why is the house isn’t clean, since you are home all day?” And the wife responded, “Sure, we can’t continue like this! But why aren’t we rich, since you work all day?”

The Bar Opposite A Church

When a Bar opened opposite a Church, the Church prayed daily against the Bar’s business. And when days later the Bar was struck by lightning and caught fire which destroyed it, the owner of the Bar sued the Church Authorities for the cause of its destruction; claiming it was caused by their prayers. But the Church authorities denied all responsibility.

 

So the judge said, “It's difficult to decide on this case because, here we have a Bar owner who believes in the power of prayers, and an entire Church that doesn't believe in the power of prayers.”

Sharing, Doubles The Happiness

When two men who both seriously ill occupied the same hospital room, one man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs, while the other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end, speaking of their wives, their families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service and where they had been on vacations. Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. 

   

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene. One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band he could see it, in his mind's eye, he could as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words. 

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone. Slowly and painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. 

 

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you." There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

A Letter From Your Liver

My dear Friend,

 

I am your LIVER! Let me tell you how much I love you in 9 WAYS.

1.       I STORE THE IRON reserves you need, as well as a lot of vitamins and minerals. Without me, you wouldn’t have the strength to carry on!

2.       I  MAKE BILE to help digest your food. Without me, you’d waste away to nothing!

3.       I DETOXIFY the poisonous chemicals you give me, and that include alcohol, beer, wine and drugs (prescribed and over-the-counter) as well as illegal substances. Without me, your “bad” habits would kill you!

4.       I STORE ENERGY like a battery, by stockpiling sugar (carbohydrates, glucose and fat) until you need it. Without me, the sugar level in your blood would fall dramatically and you’d go into a coma!

5.       I MAKE THE BLOOD that got your system going even before you were born. Without me, you wouldn’t be here!

6.       I MANUFACTURE NEW PROTEINS that your body needs to stay healthy and grow. Without me, you wouldn’t grow properly!

7.       I REMOVE POISONS from the air, exhaust smoke and chemicals you breathe. Without me, you’d be poisoned by pollutants!

8.       I MAKE CLOTTING FACTORS that stop the bleeding whenever you accidentally prick yourself. Without me, you’d bleed to death!

9.       I help DEFEND YOU against the germs going into your body all the time. I take those cold germs, flu bugs and other germs you encounter, and knock them dead – or at least weaken them. Without me, you’d be a sitting duck for every infection known to man!

 

That’s how much I LOVE YOU, but do you love me? Let me tell you some easy ways to CARE for me, your liver!!

A.      Don’t drown me in beer, alcohol or wine. Even one drink is too much for some people and could scare me for life.

B.      Watch those drugs!!! All drugs are chemicals and when you mix them without a doctor’s advice, you could create something poisonous that could damage me badly. I scar easily, and those scars called “Cirrhosis” are permanent.

C.      Medicine is are sometimes necessary. But taking pills when they aren’t necessary is a bad habit. All those chemicals can really hurt ME.

D.      Be careful with AEROSOL sprays! Remember, I have to detoxify what you breathe in, too. So when you are cleaning with aerosol cleaners, make sure the room is ventilated, or wear a mask.
That goes double for bug sprays, mildew sprays, paint sprays and all those other chemical sprays you use. Be careful what you breathe in.

E.       Watch what gets in your skin! Those insecticides you put on trees and shrubs not only kill bugs but they can get me right through your skin and destroy my cells too. Remember, they’re all chemicals. Cover your skin with gloves, long sleeves, a hat and mask every time insecticides are in the air or if you’re handling them.

 

**WARNING: I can’t and won’t tell you when I’m in trouble until I’m almost at the end of my rope, and yours. Remember, I’m a non-complainer. Overloading me with drugs, alcohol and other junks could destroy me! This may be the only warning sign you will ever get.

TAKE MY ADVICE PLEASE!

Check me out with your doctor: Blood screening tests could identify some trouble.

If I’m soft and smooth, that’s good. If I’m hard and bumpy, that could mean trouble.

If your doctor suspects trouble, ultrasound and CT scans can look into it.

My life and yours depends on how you treat me

Now you know how much I care for you.

Please treat me with tender loving care.

Your silent and ever-loving partner,

YOUR LIVER.

Your Generation In A Nutshell

If you want the story of your generation, told to you in a nutshell and in public, then make the mistake of greeting an old woman on the street, the next time you visit your village. So it was when Okechukwu, while on a visit to his village greeted an old woman on the street. The old woman acknowledged his greetings with, “Good morning nwam. Chineke mooo! Bia, is this not Okechukwu the son of Ebube; the man who raped two girls before getting married to Obianuju the daughter of the wine tapper who fell from a palmtree while staring at the buttocks of Juliliana the village prostitute who aborted 16 pregnancies before getting married to Okohia the dibia from the nebouring village? Is it not your grandfather who died of madness? Nwam, so you have grown so big! Ndo, nwam!”

Some Helpful Tips

Ants Problem:  Ants hate Cucumbers. So keep the skin of Cucumbers near the place where they are or at Ant Holes.

 

The Mirror: To make the Mirror shine, clean with Sprite.

Chewing Gum: To remove Chewing Gum from Clothes, keep the Cloth in the Freezer for One Hour.

 

Whiten White Clothes: To whiten White Clothes, soak White Clothes in hot water with a Slice of Lemon for 10 minutes.

 

Shine to your Hair: To give a Shine to your Hair, add one Teaspoon of Vinegar to Hair, then wash Hair.

 

Maximum Juice out of Lemons: To get maximum Juice out of Lemons, soak Lemons in Hot Water for One Hour then juice them.

 

Smell of Cabbage: To avoid the smell of Cabbage while cooking, keep a piece of Bread on the Cabbage in the Vessel while cooking.

 

Ink on Clothes: To remove Ink from Clothes, put Toothpaste on the Ink Spots generously and let it dry completely, then wash.

 

Mice and Rats: To get rid of Mice or Rats, sprinkle Black Pepper in places where you find Mice or Rats, and they will run away.

 

Heart Attacks: About 90% of Heart Attacks occur Early in the Morning and it can be reduced if one takes a Glass or two of Water before going to bed at Night.

 

Drinking Water: Drinking Water at the Right Time Maximizes its effectiveness on the Human Body;

(1)    1 Glass of Water after waking up, helps to activate internal organs.

(2)    1 Glass of Water 30 Minutes before a Meal, helps digestion.

(3)    1 Glass of Water before taking a Bath, helps lower your blood pressure.

(4)    1 Glass of Water before going to Bed, helps to avoid Stroke or Heart Attack.

The Effects Of Ignorance, Greed And Little Mindedness

When an ancient Temple was about to be renovated for the annual Temple feast, a number of sparrows that lived happily on its roof top relocated themselves to a Church nearby. And the pigeons that live in the Church accommodated the new comers very well. When Christmas approached and the Church was being given a facelift, and all the sparrows and pigeons had to move out to look for another place, they were fortunate to find a place in a Mosque nearby, and the doves that live in the Mosque welcomed them happily. And when Ramadan time came and the Mosque was going to be repainted, all the sparrows, pigeons and doves now came back to the same Ancient Temple, and continued to live happily together.

 

One day, when the sparrows, pigeons, doves and their families heard of some clashes below in a market square, a baby sparrow asked its mother, “Who are these that are clashing?” And the mother replied, “They are human beings.” Then a baby pigeon asked, “But why are they fighting with each other?” And its mother responded, “The human beings going to Temple call themselves Hindus, the ones going to Church call themselves Christians and the ones going to Mosque call themselves Muslims.” And a baby dove asked, “But why is that so? When the sparrows were in the Temple, they were referred to as birds, when the pigeons were in the church they were also referred to as birds, and now that we are all together we are still referred to as birds; because we are all members of the bird family, though we have our individual life styles. Why can’t they live together and happily like us, since they are all members of the same race, the human race?”

 

And the mother responded, “They can’t yet! While we are evolved and have become intelligent, they are still ignorant, little minded and greedy. And while they don’t even know why they are here, they claim to know why no other groups, shouldn’t be here. And while they are ignorantly claiming that the after thoughts of the creators of their beliefs are superior to all others, they fail to appreciate that there is more than enough space available to accommodate everyone and to live happily.”

Some Simple Principles For A Happy Life _ Part Five

Welcome to the conclusion of, “Some simple principles for a happy life.” Always use your gifts to the best of your ability. Appreciate that unused talent yield no value, while talent that is tapped and utilized will produce amazing rewards. While you resolve to work hard every day to be the best person that you have aspired to be, never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Appreciate that every sunrise offers a second chance. Value the friends and family members who have supported and encouraged you and be there for them as well.

 

Look deeply into the hearts of the people around you and you will see the goodness and beauty within them. When you are committed and yield to your commitments, stay on track and remain dedicated, you will find success at the end of the road. Let nothing and or anyone interfere with your goals. Always focus on your abilities, capabilities and dreams of a brighter tomorrow. And if bad memories or sorrow ever rears its ugly head, just zoom back to your many achievements and happy moments, and smile.

Some Simple Principles For A Happy Life _ Part Four

Welcome back to the continuation of, “Some simple principles for a happy life.” Whatever you do and whoever you become never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering people. Always offer your assistance, kindness and understanding when possible. Open your eyes, stop and smell the roses, and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there’s still much to be thankful for. And never forget to have fun along the way, because success would mean nothing without happiness.

 

He who fails to ask, will fail to know; so ask as many questions as you possibly can, because you are here to learn and be informed. And refuse to allow ignorance, worry and stress rule your Life, because things always have a way of working out in the end for good. Whatever you do or in whatever situation you may find yourself, never allow any form of fear factor deter you; even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You’ll be amazed by what you can accomplish. And cultivate the art of sharing, and share your talent, skills, knowledge and time with others; for everything that you invest in others will return to you in multiples.

Some Simple Principles For A Happy Life _ Part Three

Welcome back to the continuation of, “Some simple principles for a happy life.” While you are enjoying the cruise, some negative voices may sometimes creep into your head. Just ignore them, focus on your goals and remind yourself of your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds. And as you continue your journey into the new worlds, you must remain open-minded. Try to learn something new every day and you will grow in Knowledge.

 

Appreciate that no matter how bad things seem to be, they will always get better. The harshest weather always follows the warm weather. Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there will be no room for anything else; but when love is in your heart, there will be room for endless happiness. With hate in your heart, you will always find it difficult to think objectively; but with love in your heart, you will easily learn how to manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you’ll suffer less stress and worry. Then and only then, will you be able to focus on the important things in life.

Some Simple Principles For A Happy Life _ Part Two

Welcome to the continuation of, “Some simple principles for a happy life.” If you want to have a happy life, you can’t have room for half measures. You have to be decisive. You have to be truly and fully committed. You have to decide that you’ll be successful and happy come what may; and good things will come your way. You have to appreciate that any roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way, to help you plan, explore and experiment. For he who fails to plan, has planned to fail. The world has so much to offer, and you have so much to give. And every time you try something new, you’ll learn more about yourself.

 

And while you are at it, be mindful of the fact that that everyone makes mistakes; so you must learn to quickly forgive all those people out there who have always hated your guts, the naysayers and those who may have contributed to the roadblocks. For grudges will weigh you down, inspire unhappiness and prevent you from soaring above it, like an eagle. Continue to grow and leave the childhood monsters behind you. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way. Always hope for the best and never forget that anything and everything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.

Some Simple Principles For A Happy Life _ Part One

I believe that the first principle of life should be the appreciation of the fact that, we don’t really know why we are here. No one does. And no one will ever do. The only thing that is universally known is that man, animal and plants all have senses in their various degrees. So, use yours. Since the pig can’t fly, and it knows that it can’t fly, it said to itself that it was no use lamenting over the obvious; so it is content with the fact that it is good Bacon. You too, should always appreciate your abilities and capabilities, use them and be content with them.

When you do, it will be easier for you to accept others for who they are and for the choices they have made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives or actions. Have the courage to break away from anything and everything that had stood or will stand in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life. And create your own family of friends, with whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness.

How Not To Criticize

A young couple who had just moved into a new neighbourhood, were eating breakfast one morning when the wife saw their neighbour through the window hanging her laundry outside, and remarked, “Honey, look! That laundry is not clean. She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap." Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time when the neighbour would hang laundry to dry, the wife would make the same comments.

 

About one month later, the wife was surprised to see nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, “Look, she has learnt how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her!” And the husband said, “I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows.” And so it is with life. What we see when we watch others, depends on the purity of the window through which we look. It is easy to discuss other people, their lives and things that don't really concern us. Yet we tend to forget that our windows aren’t clean after all.

 

May we be granted the strength, humility and courage to work on our faults first before castigating others for theirs!

I’m Rich

When she saw herself in her full length mirror after she had dressed for a party, she exclaimed, “Oh my God, I’m rich! With Silver in my hair, Gold in my teeth, Crystals in my kidney, Sugar in my blood, Lead in my butt, Iron in my arteries, and an inexhaustible supply of natural gas! I never thought I would accumulate such wealth!”

While Ducks Quack, Eagles Soar

While waiting in queue for a ride at the airport and a cab pulled up, the first thing I noticed was that the taxi was polished to a bright shine. And smartly dressed in a white shirt, black tie, and freshly pressed black slacks, the cab driver jumped out and rounded the car to open the back passenger door for me. He handed me a laminated card and said, “I'm Abdul, your driver. While I'm loading your bags in the trunk I'd like you to read my mission statement.” Taken aback, I read the card. It said, Abdul's Mission Statement: To get my customers to their destinations in the quickest, safest and cheapest way possible in a friendly environment.

 

This blew me away. Especially when I noticed that the inside of the cab matched the outside. Spotlessly clean! As he slid behind the wheel, Abdul said, “Would you like a cup of coffee? I have a thermos of regular and one of decaf.” I said jokingly, “No, I'd prefer a soft drink.” Abdul smiled and said, “No problem. I have a cooler up front with regular and Diet Coke, lassi, water and orange juice.” Almost stuttering, I said, “I'll take a Lassi.” Handing me my drink, Abdul said, “If you'd like something to read, I have The NST, Star and Sun Today.” As we were pulling away, Abdul handed me another laminated card and said, “These are the stations I get and the music they play, if you'd like to listen to the radio.”

 

And as if that weren't enough, Abdul told me that he had the air conditioning on and asked if the temperature was comfortable for me. Then he advised me of the best route to my destination for that time of day. He also let me know that he'd be happy to chat and tell me about some of the sights or, if I preferred, to leave me with my own thoughts. I was amazed and I asked him, “Tell me Abdul, have you always served customers like this?” Abdul smiled into the rear view mirror and said, “No, not always. In fact, it's only been in the last two years. My first five years driving, I spent most of my time complaining like all the rest of the cabbies do. Then I heard about POWER OF CHOICE one day." *Power of choice is that you can be a duck or an eagle*

 

“If you get up in the morning expecting to have a bad day, you'll rarely disappoint yourself. Stop complaining! Don't be a duck. Be an eagle. Ducks quack and complain. Eagles soar above the crowd.” That hit me really hard, said Abdul. “It is about me. I was always quacking and complaining, so I decided to change my attitude and become an eagle. I looked around at the other cabs and their drivers. The cabs were dirty, the drivers were unfriendly, and the customers were unhappy. So I decided to make some changes, slowly a few at a time. When my customers responded well, I did more.” So I said, “I take it that it has paid off for you.” And Abdul replied, “It sure has. My first year as an eagle, I doubled my income from the previous year. This year I'll probably quadruple it. My customers call me for appointments on my cell phone or leave a message on it.”

 

“Abdul made a different choice. He decided to stop quacking like a duck and start soaring like an eagle. Start becoming an eagle today. Take one small step at a time every day, every week and the next. You don't die if you fall in water you die only if you don't swim. That’s the *Real Meaning of Life*. Improve yourself and your skills in a different way. Be an eagle, not a duck. Brighten your day. Brighten your life.”

Love, Unconditionally

 If you are being nice because you expect something in return, then you are not a really nice person after all. And giving someone all your love is never an assurance that you will be loved back. Don't expect love in return. Just wait for it to grow in their hearts. But if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.

 

Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Seek the one that makes your heart smile. And you will have a blessed, healthful and love-filled life.

The Best Job

When three boys were bragging in the school yard about their fathers’ jobs, the first boy said, “My Dad has the best job. He scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a poem and they pay him $50.” The second boy said, “That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a song and they pay him $100.” And the third boy said, “I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, calls it a sermon and it takes over ten people to collect all their money for him!”