A Man’s Tour Of Heaven

When a man went to heaven and expecting to meet a long line, he was pleasantly surprised to see nobody in line at all, except for an angel sitting in a chair with his feet up on a table. "Hello there," said the angel, "I'm Saint Peter, welcome to heaven!" And the man said, "Thank you Saint Peter, but where is everyone?" Saint Peter responded, "Well, you're in luck. Today is just a very slow day, and to make the time pass, I’m giving tours to all new arrivals. Would you like to enjoy a complete guided tour of heaven?" And the man excitedly said, "Gosh, I'd love a tour of heaven! Please lead on!!” And Saint Peter, lead on. Saint Peter then took him everywhere. They went to hear the Heavenly Choir with three hundred angels singing on high, went to the Great Hall of Saints and the Great Temple of Martyrs. And the man was just overwhelmed.

Finally, Saint Peter took him to the Throne Room of God himself. The man's heart skipped a beat when the light at the far end of the room blinded him to the point that he couldn't stand it any longer. He was then escorted out. Saint Peter then walked him into a huge room filled with thousands of clocks of all sizes and shapes. With a puzzled look on his face, the man asked, "What is this room full of clocks all about?" And in a lecturing tone, Saint Peter described, "This is the Room of Souls. Each clock in this room represents a single human soul, and the time on each clock represents how long each is to live.  Each and every time a person lies, the hands of the clock move a bit faster." And when the man glanced up and noticed a great number of huge clocks facing downwards, and whizzing round at a great rate of speed, his curiosity got the better part of him and he asked, "What are those clocks?" And Saint Peter replied, "Oh! Those are your politicians’ clocks!! We now use them as fans!!!"

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Some Habits Of Happy People

Happy people possess a unique attitude and they interpret matters differently as compared to the average unhappy people.

1. Happy People Love Themselves: True happiness is found within. Accepting flaws and personality is the first habit to being happy.

2. Happy People Take Care of Their Bodies: Happy people have confessed to ‘listening’ to their bodies by not stressing out. When the need for rest arises, they take enough rests. Eating a balanced diet and doing regular exercises play a key role in taking care of their bodies too. (This one is definitely going into my to-do list).

3. Happy People Are Grateful For What They Have: Expressing gratitude for what they have rather than complaining about what they lack gives happy people reasons to be more grateful.

4. Happy People Are Generous In Knowledge And Time: We forge a happy life by what we give out. Time and time again, it’s been proven that to receive, one has to be willing to first give. Any act of generosity brightens the day of those around you, and ultimately, it makes the people around you happy. When the people you care about are happy, you’ll in turn feel great.

5. Happy People Live The Moment: The present moment is what matters. Strive to satisfy your current needs while planning for the future. Happy people find joy at the current moment rather than waiting to celebrate in the future. (This one is going to be the top one in my daily to-do list)

6. Happy People Do What They Enjoy: Most people have confessed that their happiness levels have gone up immensely when they start pursuing what makes them happy. This could mean leaving their boring jobs to start a business they’re passionate about, or it could mean they’ve decided to take a one-year sabbatical to travel the world. Whatever it is, they enjoy what they do daily.

7. Happy People Have Happy Friends: Research has proved that joy is contagious. Having happy friends has made them draw inspiration of happiness from them.

8. Happy People Listen To Others: Happy people take their time to listen to views from other people. With this habit, they gain more knowledge and are able to empathize with others.

9. Happy People Go Outside: A regular dose of fresh air is vital to breathing new life into the body and mind.

10. Happy People Do Not Compare Their Lives To Others: Happy people understand that we all have unique lives. Seeing themselves superior or inferior to others cultivates judgmental feelings. To stay happy, they rate their success solely on their progress and theirs alone.

11. Happy People Accept That Everything Is Not Perfect In Life: Setbacks are always guaranteed in life. Happy people accept that there will be injustices and choose to focus on what they have control over to compensate for that.

12. Happy People Nurture Relationships: No man is an island. Positive relationships, both social and romantic, are crucial to happiness.

13. Happy People Do Not Give Up On Themselves: Regardless of how many times they fail at something, happy people will always keep on trying.

14. Happy People appreciate that happiness is a state of mind. No matter how wealthy one is, life will not be fulfilling without happiness.

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Logically Thinking

Helping her young students with a math problem and after choosing a student in particular, a teacher said, "John, there are three birds sitting on a telephone wire. A man with a gun shoots one of the birds. How many birds are left on the wire?" John paused and replied thoughtfully, "None!" And the teacher said patiently, "No, no, no.  Let's try again. Maybe you didn't hear me correctly.” And holding up three fingers, the teacher said, "There are three birds sitting on a wire. A man with a gun shoots one," she puts down one finger, "how many birds are left on the wire?" But John still said with authority, "None." The teacher sighed and said, "Tell me how you came up with that." And John said, "It's simple! After the man shot one bird, the noise from the gun scared the other two away." The teacher then said, "Well, that's not technically correct, but I like the way you think."

John then chimed, "Thanks! Now let me ask you a question." When the teacher guardedly said, "Okay," John asdked innocently, "There are three women sitting on a bench eating popsicles. One woman is licking the popsicle, one woman is biting the popsicle, and one is sucking the popsicle.  Which one is married?" The teacher looked at John's angelic face, and writhed in agony turning three shades of red. And John said impatiently, "C'mon! Which one is it? The one licking the popsicle, the one biting it, or the one sucking it; which one is married?" The teacher gulped, and in a barely audible whisper replied, "Well, uh the one who's sucking!" Then John said with surprise, "The one with the wedding ring! But I like the way you think!!"

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

A Nativity Show

While passing through an urban town, a man came upon a nativity show on exhibit that showed great skill and talent into creating it. However, there was one small feature that bothered him; the three wise men were all wearing fireman's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, the man left.  And when at a Shop at the edge of town the man asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets, she exploded into a rage, yelling at the man, "You damn Country folks never do read the Bible!"

The man assured the lady that he read the Bible regularly but simply could not recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She immediately jerked her Bible from behind the counter, ruffled through some pages and finally jabbed her finger on a passage. And sticking it into the man's face, she said, "See, it says it right here! The three wise men came from afar!!”

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

It’s Origin

While a group of friends were celebrating the seasonal holidays in a bar, one friend asked, “What did Adam say a day before Christmas?” And the others chorused, “It’s Christmas, Eve!”

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Some Random Facts_28

1. Thomas Edison invented the tattoo pen.

2. The Netherlands was the first country in the world to make same-sex marriage legal in 2001.

3. Ratings on Netflix are not actually an average of the ratings of all users, but rather a representation of what users with similar entertainment tastes as you thought of the movie.

4. St Nicholas is the patron saint of penitent murderers.

5. The Netherlands paved a bike path with recycled toilet paper.

6. Having a better social life can be worth as much as an additional $131,232 a year in terms of life satisfaction, according to a study.

7. On January 1st, 2018, recreational marijuana will be legal in California.

8. In the U.S., the death toll from guns is higher for kids ages 0-4 than it is for on-duty law enforcement officers.

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/

Her Uncanny Request

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a young lady aged about 25 years old walked up and sat on his lap. though it is common knowledge that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but the young lady smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, "What do you want for Christmas?"

The young lady smiled sweetly and said, "Something for my mother, please!" And Santa smiled and asked, "Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you. What would you like me to bring for her? Without turning a hair the young lady answered quickly, "A son-in-law."

http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/