1. A beer doesn’t get jealous when you grab another beer.
2. When you go to a bar you can always pick-up a beer.
3. A beer won’t get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath.
4. You don’t have to wine and dine a beer.
5. If you pour a beer right you will always get a good head.
6. Hangovers go away.
7. When you’re finished with a beer, the bottle is still worth 5 cents.
8. You don’t have to wash a beer before it taste good.
9. A beer always goes down easy.
10. You can share a beer with your friends.
11. Beer is always wet.
12. You always know you’re the first one to pop a beer.
13. A frigid beer is a beer.
14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty.
15. You can enjoy a beer all month long.
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Thursday, 8 March 2018
Wednesday, 7 March 2018
A Full And Busy Life
An American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. And when the American then asked, “Why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” The Mexican replied, “I have caught enough to support my family's immediate needs.” The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time.
The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, and eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman then asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years." And the Mexican asked, "But what then, senor?"
The American laughed, and replied, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!" And the Mexican again asked, "Millions, senor? And then, what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
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The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor."
The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, and eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman then asked, "But senor, how long will this all take?"
To which the American replied, "15-20 years." And the Mexican asked, "But what then, senor?"
The American laughed, and replied, "That's the best part! When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public. You'll become very rich, you would make millions!" And the Mexican again asked, "Millions, senor? And then, what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
Monday, 5 March 2018
Some Random Facts_38
1. A study found that orcas can learn to speak dolphin.
2. A study found that a man named Robin Gunningham is probably the street artist Banksy, based on geographic profiling of Banksy's artwork.
3. Francisci Macías Nguema, first President of Equatorial Guinea, once had about 150 of his opponents executed on Christmas Eve by Soldiers dressed in Santa Claus outfits at the football stadium in Malabo.
4. Jimmy Carter said that, if he became president, he would release all government UFO information to the public. Once elected, however, he decided not to due to "national security concerns."
5. Hundreds of people gathered in Australia in 2018 to say “wow”, in the actor Owen Wilson's style.
6. While filming the movie "Entebbe," about a plane being hijacked, a plane was actually hijacked and landed at the airport. They filmed the real hostages being released and edited it into the movie.
7. Richard Nixon was an accomplished musician who could play the piano, accordion, violin, saxophone, and clarinet.
8. The Moon gets hit by over 6,000 pounds (2800 kg) of meteor material per day.
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
2. A study found that a man named Robin Gunningham is probably the street artist Banksy, based on geographic profiling of Banksy's artwork.
3. Francisci Macías Nguema, first President of Equatorial Guinea, once had about 150 of his opponents executed on Christmas Eve by Soldiers dressed in Santa Claus outfits at the football stadium in Malabo.
4. Jimmy Carter said that, if he became president, he would release all government UFO information to the public. Once elected, however, he decided not to due to "national security concerns."
5. Hundreds of people gathered in Australia in 2018 to say “wow”, in the actor Owen Wilson's style.
6. While filming the movie "Entebbe," about a plane being hijacked, a plane was actually hijacked and landed at the airport. They filmed the real hostages being released and edited it into the movie.
7. Richard Nixon was an accomplished musician who could play the piano, accordion, violin, saxophone, and clarinet.
8. The Moon gets hit by over 6,000 pounds (2800 kg) of meteor material per day.
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
The Penguin Treat
When a man was driving on the highway and saw a truck stalled on the side that had ten penguins standing next to it, he pulled over and asked the truck driver, “Do you needed any help?” And the truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins.
He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
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He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
Sunday, 4 March 2018
Some Random Jokes_1
1. You have two choices in life; you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
2. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" And the other woman responded, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3. A lady inserted an advert in the classifieds, "Husband Wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing, "You can have mine!"
4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
5. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
6. When a little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" His father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
7. A young son asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" The father replied, "That happens in every country, son."
8. And there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
2. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" And the other woman responded, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
3. A lady inserted an advert in the classifieds, "Husband Wanted." Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing, "You can have mine!"
4. When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
5. A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished.
6. When a little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" His father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
7. A young son asked his father, "Daddy, is it true that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" The father replied, "That happens in every country, son."
8. And there was a woman who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late."
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
Friday, 2 March 2018
An Uncanny Stress Reliever
One day when a psychiatric doctor asked a patient, "What do you do when you are stressed? The patient replied, "I go to the mosque." The was pleased and said, "Good!" But when the doctor asked, "And do meditation? The patient responded, "No, I mix up all the shoes at the entrance and watch the chaos from a distance as they come out!"
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Thursday, 1 March 2018
The Monkey’s Experience
A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey, and ordered a drink. And while he was drinking, his monkey was running wild. He jumped up on the pool table, grabbed the cue ball, put it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender was livid and said to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" And the guy said, "No. What did that stupid monkey do this time?" So the bartender told him, "Well, he just swallowed the cue ball off the pool table, whole." And the guy said, "Yeah, well I hope it kills him because he's been driving me nuts." The guy finished his drink and left.
Two weeks later, the guy came back with the monkey, ordered a drink and the monkey started running wild around the bar again. While the guy was drinking his drink, the monkey found some peanuts on the bar, grabbed one, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the bartender disgustingly asked. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" And the guy asked, "What now?" The bartender responded, "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" And the guy knowingly said, "Well, what do you expect? Ever since he ate that darn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
Two weeks later, the guy came back with the monkey, ordered a drink and the monkey started running wild around the bar again. While the guy was drinking his drink, the monkey found some peanuts on the bar, grabbed one, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the bartender disgustingly asked. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" And the guy asked, "What now?" The bartender responded, "Well, he stuck a peanut up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it" And the guy knowingly said, "Well, what do you expect? Ever since he ate that darn cue ball, he measures everything first!"
http://eviparker.blogspot.com.ng/
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