Let Us Fix Nigeria Now - Part One

“To Fix Nigeria Now, Is A Task That Must Be Done.”

They say, old habits die hard; and I say the fact that they die at all, makes the task much easier. And since everything on Planet Earth can be hastened, so hasten we shall, the death of our old habits. And they also say, a fish starts going bad from the head. And since our heads in this case are our administrators, lawmakers and law enforcement agencies, who fear death more than they do God, our task has once again been made easier. Though I am not advocating the death penalty for our treasury looters, corrupt leaders and heartless administrators; and before anyone come riding on their moral high horses, they should stop for a while and think about the great numbers of the masses that have died/killed through their actions.

Before we continue in Part Two, permit me to reproduce my broadcast of May 29, 2015

Nigeria Has No Business, With Indebtedness

Ladies and gentlemen, I have the pleasure and honour to welcome us to our Administration of Change. Ever since our people decided to give us the opportunity to effect Change in their lives, we have been receiving lots and lots of congratulatory and condolence messages. Congratulatory, because we have been lucky to be so honoured. Condolences, because they feel, and rightfully too, that we are taking over a Nation in deep crises; as if we didn’t know that.

They say, “We are being handed a distressed country without electricity and fuel, where workers are on strike, billions are owed to states and federal workers, 60 billion dollars are owed in national debt and the economy is virtually grounded.” As if we don’t know that. They say, “States and federal government workers are being owed, some 300 billion Naira and 400 billion Naira in salaries, respectively.” As if we don’t know that.

And I say, “We have no problems. We shall neither beg, nor borrow. How can we have any problems, when we have all the money that we will ever need to fix these problems, sitting all around us?  No one needs to be a Rocket Scientist to know that whatever we claim to own, both in properties and finance, don’t genuinely belong to us. To be able to effect the promised change, we must first and foremost, clean up this filthy stable of ours. We must stop playing the ostrich, and refund all that we didn’t deserve. When we have removed the log in our eyes, we shall then see clearly to remove the speck in our neighbours’ eyes. We shall be transparent, and play by the book.”

Though we know, that they know, that we know that whatever they claim to own don’t genuinely belong to them, we shall still enact a “Law Of Accountability/Proof Of Ownership,” among others.

1.       Every property shall be titled, and the owner shall account for it’s acquisition, with relevant tax payments.

2.       All properties that have been acquired with looted funds shall be confiscated.

3.       All monies in commercial banks and the central bank shall be identified, and if found to be looted funds, shall be confiscated otherwise, shall be taxed accordingly.

4.       All foreign account holders with looted funds shall be given an option to voluntarily refund such funds, or be arrested and detained till such funds have been repatriated.

5.       Anyone claiming a property which is suspected to have been acquired with looted funds, shall forfeit same, or be charged for receiving stolen property.

6.       No executive shall receive his or her salary/allowance, until the least paid worker has been paid.

So ladies and gentlemen, may we have the courage to say, “No to Greed, and Yes to Contentment,” that we may move this Nation to great heights.

What Would You Have Done?

While you are still musing, over my last broadcast, "The Art Of Helpfulness," you have the following.

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it is 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he says, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is a man standing on the porch. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was heavily drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?" But the homeowner said, "No, get lost! It's half past three. I was in bed." He slams the door, goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened downstairs. And his wife said, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember the night we broke down in the rain on the way to pick the kids up from my mum, and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But this guy is heavily drunk," says the husband. "It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs. He opens the front door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere he shouts, “Hey, do you still want a push?" He hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, brother." Still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" And the drunk replies, "Over here, on the kids' swing."

Note: Tomorrow, we shall start to fix Nigeria.

The Art Of Helpfulness

While sitting at the river bank, a wise old man saw a cat that had fallen into the water, flailing around, trying to save itself from drowning. The man decided to save the cat. He stretched his hand out but was scratched by the cat. He pulled his hand back in pain. However, a minute later he stretched his hand out again to save the cat, but it scratched him again, and again he pulled his hand back in pain. Another minute later he was again trying for the third time!! A man, who was nearby watching what was happening, yelled out, "O wise man, you have not learned your lesson the first time, nor the second time, and now you are trying to save the cat a third time?"

The wise man paid no heed to the man's scolding, and kept on trying until he managed to save the cat. He then walked over to the man, patted him on the shoulder and said, "My son, it is in a cat's nature to scratch, and it is in my nature to love and have sympathy. Why do you want me to let the cat's nature overcome mine?”

And the wise man continued, “My son, treat people according to your nature, not according to theirs. No matter what they are like and no matter how numerous are their actions that harm you and cause you pain sometimes. Also, do not pay heed to all the voices that loudly call out to you to leave behind your good qualities merely because the other party is not deserving of your noble actions. And never regret the moments you gave happiness to someone, even if that person doesn't appreciate, and or deserve it.”

A Case Of Gratitude

Once upon a time, there lived a king who kept ten wild dogs for the purpose of torturing to death, any erring ministers and servants. So, one day when one of the ministers gave a wrong opinion, the king immediately ordered that the minister be thrown to the dogs. The minister then plead, “I have served you for 10 years, and I plead that you please give me 10 days before you throw me in with those dogs!” And the king agreed.

The minister immediately went to the guard that was in charge of those dogs, and begged that he be allowed to serve those dogs for the next 10 days. Though baffled, the guard agreed and introduced him to the dogs. In those 10 days, the minister fed, cleaned and washed the dogs, and also provided all sorts of comfort for them.

At the expiration of the 10 days, the king ordered that the minister be thrown in to the dogs for his punishment. But when he was thrown in, everyone was amazed to see the dogs licking the feet of the minister. Baffled at what he was seeing, the king exclaimed, “What happened to my dogs!!!”  And the minister said, “I served the dogs for 10 days and they didn’t forget my service. But I served you for 10 years and you forgot all at my first mistake!” Remorsefully, the king realized his ingratitude, and ordered the minister to be set free.

Lesson: Never forget the good, as soon as a problem arises.

And Jesus Called St. Peter

As Jesus was hanging on the cross, he looked out into the crowd and saw St. Peter. He then called out, "Peter! Peter! Come here." St. Peter tried to reach Jesus but the Roman soldiers around the foot of the cross pushed him back. In frustration, he looked up, and Jesus repeated, "Peter! Peter! Come here." And as St. Peter tried harder to reach the cross, the Roman soldiers again knocked him down and kicked him a few more times.

But when St. Peter heard Jesus calling to him again, he picked himself up, and with the speed of a wounded lion, dashed through between two Roman soldiers and got right up to the foot of the cross. And panting heavily, he said, "Yes Lord, I am here." And Jesus said, "Peter, I can see your house from here."

A Find In The Forest

While out hunting, a man phoned the Police and screamed, “I have just found a suitcase with a cat and four kittens in it, here in the forest!” And the Police said, “That’s terrible! Are they moving?” The man replied, “Honestly, I have no idea! But that would definitely explain the suitcase!”

Not Psychic

A teenager told his playmate, “Guess what! My Grandpa knew the exact time that he was going to die!” And his playmate exclaimed, “Wow! Was he a psychic?” But the teenager replied, “NO! The judge told him!”